25 January 2013

Nigeria: Lack of Home Training

It is always a delight to see well behaved children, and their parents are always given the credit. These children become a pride to the society for at least doing the right things and maintaining the societal values.

However, it is a tragedy to see badly behaved children and no matter what, their parents cannot escape blame; after all, they are supposed to mould the character of their children from the beginning.

Though in some cases, no matter how the parents try some children would be of bad behavior, but at least people bear witness that the parents tried their best, but some parents, it seems, simply don't enforce discipline and allow their children to behave anyhow to them and to other people.

But what they used to laugh at as the antics of childhood would backfire as the children continue to misbehave as they become adults. And the most telling part of this misbehavior is that the children are very rude to the parents, in fact much more than to other people.

In fact I was scandalised when I observed how some grown up children talked to their mother; they shouted her down when she talked, mocked her, were impatient with her, gave her orders and other humiliating attitudes that are degrading to anybody, much less a mother, who should be obeyed and tolerated.

To make matters worse, most of the children haranguing her are female, and I couldn't help but wonder what sort of wives they would make.

If any mother is aware of this , would she allow her son to marry such girls that have no respect for their own mother? This is because if you don't respect your own mother, it is unlikely for you to respect any other person. You are not also a good material for bringing up good children.

When I was young, my late mother used to tell me how important it is to be well behaved, because displaying a bad behavior can jeopardise one's chance of getting married. This is because some suitors and their parents investigate the behaviour of the girl, even from neighbours, so if she is found to be of bad behavior, the suitor may not go ahead with the marriage.

Then the story of her bad behaviour may become legendary and the failed attempted marriage also become an example to the next suitor so that he too may go his own way and find a well behaved girl to marry. Well, this is by the way.

In any event, some actually blamed the mother for allowing the children too much liberty when they were young, such as playing too much with them, allowing them to talk anyhow to her as if they were mates, using abusive words herself , thus teaching them to also use them among themselves and to her.

Besides, she was always sending them out to go out of the house and play, where they spent hours not minding where they had been, what they had eaten and so on.

In a lot of cases, parents, especially mothers shirk their responsibility and send their children to spend days in other people's houses, some not even close relatives. But they push the children on them in the name of friendship or good neighbourliness. And in turn, the children lack home training, because the people that are supposed to train them, have sent them away, and the people they are sent too may not feel obliged to train them properly, since they are not their responsibility in the first place.

Some may blame poverty, that people are too busy looking for what to eat to train their children properly. But that is lame; inculcating good behaviour and the sense of what is good and bad should not be regarded as taking the time of looking for what to eat.

This is more so as the above children that mock and shout at their mother are not from a poor home .

Parents should do all they can to train their children, because when it rebounds it scorches them first and then the society, increasing social misfits.

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