The Observer (Kampala)

Uganda: Dude On the Loose - When Perfect Lips Kiss a Nile

It is next to impossible to find a perfect babe.

She may look really hot but when she opens her mouth, you have to find an excuse to walk away - not because you can't stand her breath, but she has nothing to contribute to the conversation. Having walked away, you may have avoided a sleepless night of her snoring; I can stand some things, but a babe who snores? Wapi!

But all guys can bear witness that most girls have something perfect about them. It could be her legs, waist, booty, eyes, smile... name it. But the degree of perfection depends on the beholder (or is it beer-holder). This is about preference but sometimes we have a common ground.

Most guys will agree that Desire Luzinda is "da bomb"; give her Julianna's face and you turn her into "a weapon of mass destruction". That's why for Uganda, Flavia Tumusiime was our biggest representative at last year's Big Brother StarGame; she was wow!

Which brings me to the point: I met a hottie with perfect lips; towakana (don't argue)! I am a big fan of kissing; so, that part of the body means a lot to me, ladies and gentlemen. Recently, I honoured an invitation to grace Raga Dee's show at Club Silk. The truth is, I went hoping he would perform only his original compositions. I was disappointed.

Anyway, Miss Sweet Lips walked in with her buddy and immediately sat at their reserved table. Shortly, a waiter began ferrying trays of Nile Special lager in their direction. I could not believe my eyes. ?After all the stories I have heard about girls who drink that brand, I pinched myself to make sure I was not dreaming. The perfect lips were kissing a Nile!

What's with chicks trying to take over our world? They are riding our bikes, wearing our shoes and blazers, dating our babes, shaving the Mohawk and drinking our beers.

We are competing with them for the Guinness, all because they want to drink at the table of men! Arthur Guinness must be turning in his grave at the sight of these girls diluting his 250-year-old masterpiece with Coke and other soft drinks they use. Even Michelle Obama took it straight while on the campaign trail with President Obama. So, who are you to dilute it? I hope I sound pissed, because I am.

I was so pissed that I left without even trying to get her number. I imagined she would be drunker than me, but believe me, every time those lips touched her bottle, my heart went into overdrive. ?There were a lot of emotions and wishful thinking. I had to leave without even saying, "Adieu" to my boys. ?Sorry guys, blame it on the lips.

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