Capital FM (Nairobi)

13 February 2013

Kenya: Signs Your Boyfriend Thinks You Are Overbearing

Relationships can be tricky! There are times when in a relationship you find yourself trying to do everything possible in your power to keep the relationship going. Good intentions and all... but in the process you forget yourself and it becomes all about the other person hence you become overbearing without even realizing it. Yes your good intentions could be too much for your man! He can't and probably won't tell you...but I will.

*You act like his personal assistant and his mother!

It's always good to do things for your boyfriend but if you are doing everything including washing his boxers, taking over his finances, dropping by his house everyday to cook him his fave meal and iron his clothes before you dash off to your own house to sort your own things...

Not only that, you always want to keep tabs on him. Calling him every hour, texting him every minute to wish him a good morning, good lunchtime and good evening...*sickening*

...overbearing could very possibly be your middle name!

*Your number of friends has declined

You've become so entwined with your man until your friends have no space in your life. It's like your man has your oxygen in his possession and you can't do without him by your side. You cancel out on your friends while you could be forgetting a few things...

While being with your man often is a good thing...at first...it might lead to both of you getting sick of each other and needing space when the honeymoon stage of your relationship is over and this could be your downfall because your friends moved on since you decided it's always just about you and your man against the world.

...And now his friends are your friends too

Soon after meeting his friends, you start adding them on Facebook and following them on Twitter and start involving them in your plans. While it's good to get along with your man's friends...this is a tad too much!

You're also trying hard to endear yourself to his family

Meeting his family means your relationship is definitely headed towards the right path. But when you try forcing yourself to be buddy buddy with his sisters...calling them daily to touch base and getting them Christmas and Birthday gifts instead let them do the letting you in bit... You could perhaps let them do that bit first.

*His opinion is all that matters

You never voice your opinions, you believe everything he decides is all that matters. He is constantly the decision maker and you let him always have his way when it comes to choosing what to do, where to go, which movie to watch etc even if he gives you the option to choose for once you throw the decision making back to him.

-Plus you are a yes woman

You've never said no to him no matter what he asks you to do...laundry, making chapos on a Monday, Tuesday and Thursday...even if you had other plans like going for a manicure...

You put your life needs on hold to always please him. If you are a 'yes woman' it means that you've put your relationship ahead of your life and it's all that matters and at some point this might bother him as you are too submissive and it's the 21st century.

*You have a Facebook relationship and he's not up for it!

You plaster pictures of him all over your Facebook page and your updates are just about him, him, him...

Posting pictures of everything you do together including showing how he's just the best man on earth. Posting your relationship for everyone to see when no one really cares to know about your relationship and how it's going. Some privacy about your relationship is appreciated by all even by him.

You spend a lot of money and time on him

Buying him random presents every now and then. Everything nice you see makes you think of him and you get it for him quick! Even if he won't like it forgetting that you have your own needs. It is good to spend on your man but don't be like his mom.

-You insist on doing things he told you he can handle...like washing his car and you still insist on doing it. In the process you're just making him feel like he's losing himself and his independence.

Your entire day is filled with thoughts of him. Even to your friends and colleagues, there's not a sentence that comes from your mouth that doesn't mention him... He's going to think you actually don't have a life and who wants to be with someone without a life?

All in all, always remember that a romantic relationship is about two people and not about pleasing each other while neglecting yourself. If there's anyone to please...find yourself and then please yourself. It has its perks.

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