opinionBy Zahra Njeri
If you are wondering why you are single and no man is showing interest, the problem could be that they are deliberately avoiding you. In their search for the elusive perfect woman, men may become jaded because they find that women they date always turn out to be annoying or weird in some way.
Granted, dating should not be about putting people into categories, but there are some personalities that will make any guy turn and run.
This is the woman who never shuts up. She barely stops to breathe. The man can't even get in a word sideways! She is concerned about anything and everything that happens around her, ignoring the man and anything he has to say or wants to say.
Not only will she dominate all conversations but also the relationship. George Kimutai says he cannot date a chatterbox, "All they do is talk, talk and talk some more.
I want to have a conversation with the woman in my life, and not sit there like I am listening to a radio with a broken dial." He adds that a lot of men usually zone out and let the woman talk herself to silence.
The Desperate Chick
This type of woman will seem fantastic at first, until she starts talking the wedding preparations, number of children and pets she and her man will have; all within the first month of interaction with a man. When a woman advances faster than what is considered a natural pace of courtship or dating, she will be marked as a no-go-zone by many men.
Her eagerness will be interpreted to mean that she is desperate enough to put anybody in that empty slot, even the homeless guy at the corner.
"No man will want to settle down with a desperate woman," says Peter Masai. "The moment a man gets a whiff of desperate vibes in a woman, he will take off.
They are too big a burden carry with their ideas that have no consideration of your feelings or most importantly your future plans. Who knows, you may not want to get married or have kids, you probably just want her to be your partner for a clever period of less than two years. If you catch my legal drift against the rule of cohabitation."
3. The Overly-Critical Woman
Anything any man does for this type of woman is not good enough. She has unreasonable standards that any man that wants to date her must meet. She is a know-it-all who thinks she's smarter than everyone else in a room. Anything that is said by anyone will be quickly taken out of context to become some sort of insult or some reason to wage a verbal or supposedly intellectual war against the world.
"A woman who has something harsh to say about everything will poison your mind, your manhood, and everything you stand for," says Kamau Thige, who dated such a woman for five months.
He adds that she would always find a way of belittling him, to the point of making him doubt his ability to interact with his male friends. She was always comparing him to his friends, specifically the ones who were not doing as well as he was financially.
This type of woman has probably never been to a classroom beyond the compulsory primary school and high school, but has managed to secure a PhD in the science of the bedroom.
She is an intellectually-challenged woman who looks great but, in all honesty, should never open her mouth. Her skills are unquestionably only rooted in the physical realm-and quite excellently too-but unless a man is just after one-night stands, most men avoid her.
They do not want to bring a stupid girl home to meet mom and dad, especially one who dresses like a video vixen.
The High Maintenance Chick
This woman probably lives in some bourgeois neighbourhood such as Kileleshwa and expects the man to pay her rent, drives a car which she expects him to fuel and picks the most expensive item on the menu when they go out, of course to be paid for by him.
If this type of woman breaks a nail, she expects her man to drop everything he is doing to drive her to the salon immediately. She has expensive taste and expects her man to shower her with only the best things and take her out to posh places on a regular basis.
Her expensive tastes are a turn off to most guys as she probably would be hard to maintain in case she bullies him into marrying her.
The Clingy Girl
This woman is a nuisance who can't go anywhere or do anything without the company of her man. She'll adopt her man's interests; call him 20 times a day to find out his exact location and who he's with and whether he misses her.
She will fly off the handle anytime she's not near him to monitor his behaviour. This type of woman will smother any chance of her man missing her by insisting that he spends every waking moment with her, refusing to let him go out with the boys or spend any significant amount of time with anyone else.
Hell hath no fury than the clingy girl when she sees her man even as much as glance at another woman. Most men do not need this kind of drama, they need space and peace.
The Baby Mama
This woman has a great physique, great personality and her toes are pretty too! There's only one problem--she's got a good number of children with an assortment of 'baby-daddies'.
This woman got knocked up by somebody that she was supposedly in love with, and not only is she a bad judge of character, she's very irresponsible and pays little or no attention to her children.
She is out there busy trying to find them a father but instead of bringing a father home, she will bring another child. The same guys that are "jerks" now are the same guys she once thought the world of and had unprotected sex with.
The Gold Digger
The gold-digger will compliment a man on his expensive watch, ask him the kind of car he drives, what he does for a living, where he lives and so on.
Like the high maintenance woman, the gold digger is basically looking for a sugar daddy; she'll size the man up within the first five minutes of meeting and drop him just as quickly if his cash flow runs out and he can't take her shopping anymore. She will suck a man's wallet dry and leave him. Men have learned how to spot and avoid gold diggers.
Vincent, a D says, "I met a gold digger once and I made her pay hell for it. At first I took her anywhere she wanted to go, bought her everything she wanted and one day when I gauged that she was comfortable with my wallet, I took her out to lunch and we ordered the usual overpriced meals and I left in the pretext of getting something in the car."
She tried calling me later, I ignored her calls and could not stop laughing at the thought of the look on her face when she realised that I had ducked."
The Club Girl
Club girls are nothing more than fantasy women who have lived in bars and clubs since they hit the legal drinking age. Fantasy because they look like extras in a Hollywood movie with bars as the main sets.
They have beautiful faces with full lips, big doe eyes, great legs, and all the curves any man could ever ask for. The problem with dating these women is that their wardrobe contains items of clothing that can only be worn at night to show off their great assets not just to her man, but to every Tom, Dick and Harry on the street.
They can be confused for prostitutes and their alcohol intake is worrying. A woman like this may be carefree and wild; however, once a man takes a closer look, he realizes that her entire life is a party and most nights will end with her puking in his car. At the end of the day a man wants a woman who is more comfortable in a home setting than she is in a night spot.
This type of woman can never be pleased by a man and she believes that men are the cause of all the pains and suffering of society and some of hers.
It is her strong belief that women are much more intelligent than men and are capable of doing things "the right way". Men do not want to waste any time with this type of woman because their idea of a woman does not involve a female who sits at the head of the table daring him to prove his manhood by challenging him to a duel because, after all, they are equal.