Gaborone — As the adage goes, it takes any kind of man to be a father but a special kind of man to be a dad, and that is why I want to tell the world about my dad.

When I was three-years-old, tragedy hit our family. My mom was in a car accident leaving her in a critical condition. Doctors said she was closer to death than life. Despite their suggestions, my dad insisted that she be given every chance to survive and refused to turn off her life support. She was in a coma for months, but my dad held tight to his faith in her recovery.

With such spiritual strength, he prayed every day, spent sleepless nights at my mom’s hospital bed, looked after my sister and I, worked a full time job and still had the resolve to challenge social norms.

Because we live in an exclusively patriarchal society that draws thick lines between the roles of men and women, he was criticised and mocked for washing children’s clothes, bathing my mom, cooking, cleaning and doing all the household chores.

Many people would insist that my dad take my sister and I to live in the village where my grandmother would ‘take better care of us.’ Some people even suggested that he re-marry, so another woman would look after him and the children, and not the other way round.

This was an insult to a man like my dad who is against people who abdicate their parental responsibilities and use gender stereotypes as an excuse. He refused to betray his beloved wife, especially when she needed him the most. He taught me that family is very important, particularly during adversity. He always said, “A family that stays together, sticks together”.

He taught me to have faith, patience, tolerance and endurance. He taught me how to pray and that prayer should be my main source of strength. Wherever I go, I carry my Bible and the words of God enshrined in my heart.

As a child, I grew up thinking that men were incapable of inflicting pain, causing harm or even being violent, because the only man I really knew was my dad. He always told my sister and I that violence is never a solution to any problem. He taught me not to raise my voice, but rather to improve my argument.

I grew up watching football with my dad and now I am a huge fan. Football is one of the things that bring us closer together. He is so passionate about football that when one of the local teams in Botswana was established he used his own salary to pay the coach and to buy food for the players. Many years ago when my dad was living overseas, he volunteered at old age homes and orphanages to assist vulnerable children and elderly people.

My dad’s compassion and selflessness is one of the things that inspired me to establish my own charitable organization called Pillar of Hope Project when I was five-years-old. For the past 13 years, he has primarily funded my organization.

My dad also taught me that for people you love, you have to lead by example and make sacrifices. My dad left the church he had attended for 43 years because the church was against some of my initiatives.

He resigned from chairing the Parent Teacher Association at my primary school because the school authorities disliked my advocacy and activism.

He also left his job so he could take care of my mom and be closer to her. For the past four years, my dad has also been caring for my niece, who is now closer to him than anyone in the family.

One of my most cherished memories is my dad singing Let it be by the Beatles as a lullaby to help me to fall asleep. To this day, we still sing it together and he has since passed on his 1983 Beatles record on to me.

Although I am 18 now, my dad still offers to prepare my meals and he always watches my steps, constantly warning to be careful.

A dad’s presence in their child’s life is invaluable and can play an instrumental role in the success and happiness of that child. No father wants their child to confront them, asking why he abandoned them or why they were not good dads.

Legal obligations and money for child maintenance do not make dads out of fathers or give children role models. Parents, elders, NGOs and governments from all over SADC must encourage absent fathers to be active and present dads, who foster meaningful relationships with their children, because being a dad is pivotal and having a dad is priceless.

Happy Dad’s Day to all fathers doing a fantastic job of being dads!

Gogontlejang Phaladi is a philanthropist youth ambassador, motivational speaker, activist, writer and founder of the Pillar of Hope Project. This article is part of the Gender Links Opinion and Commentary Service, special series on celebrating Phenomenal Fathers, bringing you fresh views on everyday news.