South Africa — Youth Day commemorates 16 June 1976, when 20 000 youths rose up and took to the streets to protest against a racist regime and apartheid’s Bantu education that forced schools to abandon local languages and teach children in Afrikaans and English.

Black students and teachers walked from their schools to Orlando Stadium in Soweto where police surrounded them, set their dogs loose and later opened fire, shooting and killing more than 176 demonstrators.

Gender inequality, patriarchy and the belief that heterosexuality is the only sexuality continues to oppress young men and women, begging the question: How can youths rise up and abolish the dominant form of ‘manhood’ in Southern Africa and beyond, that creates a society of fractured and neurotic masculinities, sexism, gender-based violence (GBV) and homophobia?

‘Manhood’ is a learned construct, taught by families and reinforced by the different spaces in society that educate us and shape our identities. Just as the apartheid schooling system oppressed young men and women, today’s youth are oppressed by what these spaces teach us.

Throughout our lives, our homes, churches, classrooms, work places and the media, tell us what to think, how to behave, what is normal and what it means to be a ‘real man’ or a ‘real woman. These narrow ways of thinking, perpetuate patriarchy and the marginalisation of women and sexual minorities.

Schools, universities, initiation schools, boys clubs, fraternity houses and sports teams play a big role in the creation of the, ‘boys will be boys’ masculine identities. The male experience becomes standardised and these spaces only accept young men who fit neatly into a specific mould of manhood.

This mould provides young men with unquestionable entitlement and superiority that celebrates crass, aggressive, sexist and ultra-masculine behaviour. As a result men objectify women, reject homosexuality and supress their emotional needs.

Many men simply cannot and do not fit this model and the overwhelming pressure to conform to a specific kind of manhood creates insecure young men and fractured masculinities, because they are taught if you do not fit in, you are not a man.

When young men find themselves outside of these male dominated spaces, they feel vulnerable and marginalised. They perceive different identities such as women, lesbian women, gay men and other men who do not conform to society’s form of masculinity as threats.

Following what their families, schools, boys clubs, TV games and movies teach them, they attempt to reassert their dominance, by perpetrating physical, emotional and economic violence against those who challenge their ‘manhood’. Some young men abuse, beat rape and kill people who they do not view as ‘real women’ and ‘real men.’

How do we change this trajectory and how should youth abolish these misguided beliefs that that create insecurity, violence, and a type of manhood that oppress young men and demand that women submit to it?

Like the youth of 1976, all men and women need to rise up and fight for an equal and violent free society.

Youth need to question what they consume, critique what they are taught and challenge the people and institutions teaching them. With a balance of introspection and progressive thinking, young men and women can empower themselves and others to change society.

Young men need to redefine what ‘manhood’ means. Those people and spaces that educate young men need to accept and nurture this new meaning of masculinity to promote self-discovery and acceptance of diversity and multiple identities.

Fathers and older men play a pivotal role in educating and encouraging young men and boys to challenge sexism and male entitlement that breeds gender inequality, GBV and homophobia.

Fathers need to role models and lead by example, be active dads who participate fully in raising their children. They need to encourage honesty, openness and willingness to listen and learn from their children.

Themba Moleketi and Kgosi Motsoane are honours students at the University of the Witwatersrand, studying political studies commerce respectively. Both writers co-author a blog about gender, sexuality and race called liftingtherug.wordpress.com

This article is part of the Gender Links Opinion and Commentary Service, special series on celebrating Phenomenal Fathers, bringing you fresh views on everyday news.