The favourite child phenomenon is as old as Biblical/Quranic times and the most classic one is captured by the story of Joseph (or Yusuf). Joseph, according to holy narratives, was his father's darling amongst his 12 children. This difficult-to-hide preference bred resentment towards Joseph from his brothers.

What followed is a well-known script as his brothers eventually sold Joseph off into slavery as a way of getting rid of him. Some of his brothers had in fact, more sinister plans, but I guess divine intervention must have saved Joseph's skin. This historical incident alone indicates how nasty the consequences of a favourite-child situation can be.

However, child psychologist Ellen Libby argues in Huff Post Healthy Living: "Since every child is different and every parent relates differently to each child, having a favourite is inevitable."

But Libby believes parents often become defensive on this issue because they confuse love with favouritism. Many parents will secretly confide that they have a favourite child, but have never loved the other children any less. It is all about getting along better with particular ones, and therefore 'liking,' not 'loving' them more, they will reason.

My own personal experience leads me to agree with those who argue, albeit defensively, that sometimes there is this child who will just 'click' with you. I may be inclined to go the extra mile for him or her but not so much as to make the rest believe he or she was the apple of my eye. Children are gifts from God, and as such, are very special every one of them.

If you learn to accept the emotional vicissitudes that are part of all relationships (children included), you may well find you don't have an actual favourite. You have good days and bad days, and the times when you are hitting it off better with one child than another. One makes you laugh, another makes you a cup of tea, the third is a squidgy baby.

But if you really do have a favourite child, better take note of this:

Don't tell the children. Ever.

Find ways of parenting different children equitably. This does not mean treating children in exactly the same way as each other (contrary to the beliefs of the children themselves).

Find ways of spending quality time with the child you find more difficult, doing things you both enjoy. Make a day at the weekend or during the holidays when just the two of you can be together and then carry on making some one-to-one time after that. On the whole, people who are loved become more loveable. Work at the relationship and work at showing love.

Don't overcompensate so wildly that your other children end up thinking the child you find more difficult is actually your favourite.

The bottom line is that displaying favouritism not only hurts everybody else but its subject as well.

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