3 April 2014

South Africa: How to Spend a Million

Photo: Big Brother Mzansi
Who Will Win The Grand Prize?

What to do with R1 million? We can think of a few things. Let's help our Top 6 spend their imaginary cash.

Sol - If there's one man who loves his food, it's this guy. We've seen him working away at the contents of his plate furiously and most impressively, too many times to remember. Maybe Sol should buy a restaurant with his cash, hire the best chefs Mzansi has to offer and permanently move some of his clothes into the restaurant kitchen, just so he is close to the nibbles at all times. Apart from being a food lover, we all know Sol of the House is a deejay. Maybe he would also use his talents to sniff out and purchase a couple of old Motown records he can play while he cries himself to sleep. Why? Because Kat will totally be halfway across the world, flirting up a storm and finding new suitors. We love you Sol!

Kat - After revealing how she has a sex bucket list, we think Kat should have her people (Yes, she'll probably hire a PA) book a flight to Thailand for a wild time, in a bid to satiate her most carnal of needs. Or maybe the Red Light District in Amsterdam? After a 2 month drought courtesy of her time spent locked away in the Big Brother, we think this is exactly what she needs. What happens in Holland, stays in Holland, right Kitty Kat? Jase would probably use up his life savings and fly halfway across the world to stare at her with those beautiful eyes of his, but hey, we ain't mad at that!

Loko - This one's obvious. Shap Shaps! Lots and lots of Shap Shaps, so she can drink and be merry. Loko loves to have a good time and as we've established, a good time is where the alcohol is where Miss Thang is concerned. Bump the liquor! We'll throw in a trip to Nigeria so she can practise her already convincing accent. "Bee Brohda! One volume, please".

Mandla - Shirts, t-shirts, jackets. Thank heavens the weather is slightly chillier. We've had to contend with Mandla's man-boobs being shoved in our faces the entire Season, so we feel investing in clothing items that cover his upper body would be lekker, you know, because pneumonia is not child's play. We'd also throw in a brand new Spaza Shop, for control. And have Lexi work the till.

Iris - A volume button she can attach or connect to herself. Have you heard how loud she can get when she's excited? She's loads of fun but sometimes, things can go overboard. Also, loads and loads of teeny tiny dresses she can wear to snooty WAG parties. Of course! We'd totally buy her a top flight English footballer she can marry with that R1 million. She deserves nice things.

MK - He'd buy loads of dictionaries so he can tell everyone he knows, about everything he knows. Honestly, we've never met anyone who knows all the things he knows. A trip to Emmett in Canada, would be ideal. Those two have a lot to talk about. BFFs for life?

If you had access to the R1 million Big Brother Mzansi grand prize, what would you buy your favourite Housemate?

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