18 June 2017

Uganda: Pablo - a Day With Bobi Wine Diehards

My friend called me to Kamwokya to sign as a witness to the land he had bought. The transaction was being made at a bar.

On arrival, I could easily identify the group waiting for the payment and start a drinking spree. No sooner had the seller received his payment than he ordered for a crate of beer for his friends.

He also ordered for drinks for the buyer and me, but we politely turned down the offer since we are teetotalers. This, however, was good news to his friends as they grabbed the offer.

The main story in the bar was how self-proclaimed ghetto president Robert Kyagulanyi aka Bobi Wine was going to trounce his opponents in the Kyadondo East constituency by-elections.

The man who had just sold to us land was the chief talker since he was funding the drinks. Everything he said was right before the revelers because that's the only way drinks would keep flowing. He was a Bobi Wine diehard. He told them his candidate would win because he had more hit songs than his opponents.

My friend tried to correct him that the other opponents were not musicians. However, he was immediately silenced by the aggressive revelers who didn't want to hear anyone disagreeing with their sponsor's brilliant arguments.

He added that even the king of Buganda had endorsed him as the official candidate since he was 'omubanda wa Kabaka'. Another reveler suggested they hunt down musician Butcherman, a former minister in Bobi's ghetto cabinet, and make him answer as to why he was campaigning against their president.

The waitress told them that all the women traders in Kyadondo would vote for Bobi because he told KCCA executive director, Jennifer Musisi, to soften her tough approach of evicting vendors and it worked. That earned her a Shs 5,000 note from the chief talker.

There was an elderly man seated quietly in the corner. The chief talker walked and sought his opinion about the election. The elderly man was sorry for Besigye who had to follow rules and support the party candidate at the expense of the only musician who stood with him when he was confined in his house after the presidential elections.

The chief talker told them it wouldn't be a problem because voting is by secret ballot, and nobody can know whom Besigye will vote for. I wanted to correct him that Besigye wasn't a voter in Kyadondo East, but remembered the wrath they had rained on my friend who had earlier tried to correct him.

My friend requested to leave, but chief talker didn't want us to go without hearing our opinion. My friend, having been traumatized by the revelers, asked me to share my opinion on his behalf.

I told them Bobi would be a fine addition to parliament because he could compose songs out of the bills for the local people to easily understand what was happening in the corridors of power.

Chief talker was in full agreement with me. He added that president Museveni would then make Bobi the minister of finance to sing the national budget.

He added that Judith Babirye would do the backup vocals with Kato Lubwama as the king dancer. We left them playing Bobi's music as they sang along in keys that would make you wonder why Jesus died on the cross.

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