17 August 2017

Nigeria: Do You Cheat On Handicap?

Photo: Pixabay
(file photo).

Golfers All', there is the virus that preys on the heart of the public good. The virus feeds off sloth and breeds low expectations among deadbeats who should be seeking for help in the first place.

From the backyard, the game of golf is regarded as an honorable game, even to those who have not swung the golf club before. But from the inside, the game is becoming rotten as cheats are presently feasting on this good game that should be placed on alter of purity. And just for unnecessary reasons, golfers now cheat at will.

You wouldn't believe this, but a billionaire of uncommon status could grind his wedge in a bunker just to get off easily. A prominent personality would drop a new ball in the rough when the original ball is far lost in the forest. And you won't believe it that all these indecent proposals are happening just for some silverware that could cost nothing more than some N20,000.

As if this is not enough, some even kick their balls right in the middle of the fairway so they can gain on yardage. Some even belittle themselves when they hopelessly tutor caddies on what to do when an errant ball is lost forever. But this is just a tip of the iceberg. Truth is Nigerian golfers have taken golf cheating to a new level, something akin to getting the right vaccines for a terrible thing like HIV.

Now, golfers embark in heinous misapplications that could fetch direct Red Card in football just to get an edge over the other fellow who pretends to look the other way when fouls are being committed right on the fairway. And this is the bad thing about golfers. They believe it is part of Gentlemanliness not to holler when you see a hapless folk kicking the ball all over the rough. Sure, this is close to insanity. It is abominable. It is wrong and it can never be right. It is reason cheating in golf has climbed some few steps. It is because people pretend to be so decent they can't fish cheats out even though every golfer knows who cheats right on the course.

But why bring this sordid thing to a sacred thing like the Handicapping system? This is where we must see new reasons... something close to Obama's Audacity of Change. And we must start today... by stopping Handicap Cheats.

If you know nothing about golf, then this is to prick your mind on what Handicapping System is all about. Really it's nothing but a little way of ranking the good golfers from the bad ones. It's like if your Handicap is reading something like 28, you should really not bother piling divots all over the fairways. You could do yourself a load of good by staying indoors and bore yourself with repeated drama on Africa Magic.

But if you play from 15 Handicap to Scratch... sorry, this is Zero Handicap, in case you know next to nothing about golf. If you really play off Zero, then you could match a Professional eyeball to eyeball and you need not blink. At this point, you could pack it real high and ask even Jordan Spieth for a round, and even add a bet of say 200 dollars per hole.


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