17 January 2018

Nigeria: Lies You Tell Your Kids Without Knowing

Photo: Premium Times
Mother and child

Parents are always saddled with loads of responsibilities while children, on the other hand, are usually oblivious to their parents' needs. A lot of times under the weight of the numerous pressures that come with being a parent, parents lie to their kids unconsciously. Whether it's to protect their kids or the make the kids obey certain instructions, here are some lies parents tell their kids without knowing.

1. "Don't worry, it won't hurt"

Your kid is ill and he/she needs to take a shot at the hospital. The child is crying and to make him/her stop, you say it won't hurt. The problem is that this is probably not the first time they will be taking a shot so they know you are lying. Alternatively, it might help if you're honest with them for a change, tell them it will sting a little or there will be a little pain. After the experience, reward them for being strong, this will go a long way in building trust between you and your kid.

2. "We don't have money to... "

This is another common lie parents tell without knowing. Kids can see through this lie because eventually, parents end up spending money on something else. Instead of saying this, it's best to explain to the kids the reasons why they cannot get what they are asking for. Research has shown that the common perception that children-usually from the age of four- cannot understand concepts like patience or sacrifice is false. So teach your kids these ideals by giving them the truth on a level they can understand.

3. "I won't let anything bad happen to you"

This is a very tricky one because every parent wants to protect their kids and make them feel safe. However, the truth is that you can't always protect or have control over the things that happen to your kids and it's important to let them know as subtly as you can. It's a very thin line to walk because while you need to let your kids know the dangers of the world and how to protect themselves when you're not around, you also need them to feel confident and safe in especially in your absence.

4. "You are the best... excellent work."

As kids grow up they will try their hands on new skills every day. Whether they develop an interest in painting, playing a musical instrument or a new sport, it's important to give loving and honest opinions about their work. Do not say their drawing is the best thing you've ever seen when it's not. Kids are not as gullible as you think and there is a chance that they have a friend who does it better. Most times, kids just want to know that you love and appreciate their work so make sure you do that, and offer suggestions on how they can improve.

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