13 March 2018

Nigeria: Are You 'Badder' Than the N213 Million Nigerian Senate Gang?

Photo: The Guardian
Nigerian senators' salaries.

You must have heard that a Nigerian senator gets N13.5 million free money (sitting allowance) and his basic salary is N750,000. Well, did you know that he earns (yes, earns) N200 million naira as "his" constituency allowance?

An average Nigerian senator is a big boy.

He has every reason to exercise his bragging rights. His house is probably the finest in your village, his bathtub is gold plated and how dare you compare his wardrobe to Wizkid's Gucci gang wardrobe? Davido and Wizkid are his boys. And all that talk about Davido's omo babalowo got nothing on his children.

He chuckles at the open letters which have become so common. If it is not because of the house he built at Asokoro, it is about the jet he uses to travel for leisure. You complained and he decided to "invest" in estates in Dubai and the UK (Make up your minds. What do you really want? ).

Since Swizz banks have decided to be funny, he has bought choice beach houses in Miami.

There is no need to call for the improvement of industries when women who are becoming educated might unsettle the ancient patriarchal system. Aren't women responsible for dumping 'Maggi' in pots of soup, which make you (yes, you) think the herdsmen killings are unjustified?

In fact, your Twitter rants cannot stop him from showing his sleeping skill on national television. After all, unbothered is the head that earns free N13.5 million every month.

He is only bothered if the milk of human kindness in him causes him to remember that his kinsmen might expose him after he has painted a picture of how much his people love him. But then, he is unbothered again: there is nothing 10 bags of rice, one goat and 30 broilers cannot fix. Stomach infrastructure to the rescue!

Besides, his chieftain title reads, the man of the people whose voice shakes the earth and summons the gods to his bedroom.

This foolish generation flaunts the two iPhones and androids they have. They do not understand the phrase, big money, small wallet.

Since the masses think the social media is their voice, he will shoot a music video to prove he is a guy man. If he's too busy to shoot one himself, he can always get to feature in a music video alongside a minister's son.

And all the masses calling on the intelligence and crime commissions to scrutinise him clearly do not understand the meaning of Touch Not My Anointed And Do The Godfathers' Son No Harm.

How much is it sef that the masses are crying foul? Do you know who he is?

How dare you envy a man when na baba god do am for him boy.


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