My people, I think all credit should go to our security forces for the wonderful work they are doing in terms of trying to find out those behind the act of throwing the explosive that rocked White City Stadium.
The country's security forces were so quick that in no time they had suspects who were quickly brought before the courts.
Lizard Ngwena had in some form of bizarre publicity stunt assured the people of Bulawayo on Dead BC that those who had thrown the explosive were not people from that city.
A few days later, as if in defiance of Lizard Dhakisi, the police produced two suspects from Bulawayo!
The only problem was that the two gentlemen were of no fixed abode.
The courts immediately freed them.
Better luck next time to our hard-working security forces.
I am sure police commissioner-General Godwin Matanga, who has assured us that they will sniff out the suspects, has one or two aces up his sleeve.
We hope it's not another set of bemused vagabonds.
While still on the White City explosion, we hope police spokesperson Charity Charamba has managed to find out how much exactly has been offered as reward for providing information leading to the arrest of those behind the dastardly act.
Initially she spoke of a "substantial" amount.
Zimbabweans who are aware of the high levels of corruption in government immediately became sceptical.
Is there really a bounty price, they asked. Why is the amount a secret?
Are they keeping the figure a secret so that people don't volunteer information?
If so, why and who are they protecting?
Is it true that finding out the real culprits could turn out to be an inconvenience for some people?
After all, don't we all know that grenades are not obtainable in a pharmacy or supermarket.
But please, Charity, please say more about the reward.
People are talking already.
It's a bit like being told that a coup is being staged to target criminals around Gushungo and more than seven months later, not a single criminal has been arrested.
We do hope that one of the security lessons learnt from the unfortunate incident at White City was that you don't put all the country's top leaders in one place at the same time just as the Americans do.
What if they had all been wiped out in one hit? But again, these people are so suspicious of each other and are always watching each other.
Obedient son was not at White City as were many stalwarts and for some that could be an issue.
What are parties saying about debt cancellations?
It is that time once again when politicians lose their minds. They also promise voters almost anything.
Dr Shenanigans, who commands as much respect from The Horrid and Dead BC as does Dhakisi, has touched on the subject without clearly saying what his party position is.
I will ask the question again:
Which of the political parties will write off municipal debts accrued by residents due to economic implosion?
And would that be a good decision?
Reactions from my people
Thank you, Doctor Amai, for keeping us always informed through your writings. If you were not around we would die of loneliness and ignorance -- Tinotenda
I like this article so much. It's written with creativity and it's so exciting. I can't help but fall in and out of character every time I read it. It feels like it's written straight from the Doctor's head. Please copy it to me every episode published in the coming editions. Keep up the good work.
Of course, all brutality being committed by both mdct and ngwena is copied from 37 yrs of Mugabe's politics which will die the same way Ian Smith's -- David
You are a bitter man of the events that unfolded unexpectedly. Time is an estimate please take a back seat and relax you had your chance to make things better for Zimbabwe stop trying to fool poor Zimboz with your mischievous messages. -- Mukanya
Of course, I don't understand some of the messages. Munopenga!
A few weeks before we shock and awe them.
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)