22 July 2018

Zimbabwe: I Will Bounce Back As Your VP

Photo: S. Mhofu/VOA
Former U.N. secretary general Kofi Annan with President Emmerson Mnangagwa at the State House in Harare while fellow members of “The Elders” group Mary Robinson, the former president of Ireland, and Lakhdar Brahimi, an Algerian career diplomat look on.
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My Dear People,I am sure by now, the news has reached you that all efforts are being made to make sure that I return to rule you as your first vice-president.

Sarah Mahoka all but confirmed it on Studio 7, adding that for the National Patriotic Front (NPF), their presidential candidate was Chamisa and that if the alliance wins the elections, the NPF will be awarded the position of vice-president.

Many of you are finding it difficult to believe that those young boys in the opposition are working day and night to return the Mugabes to power after years of abuse under Gushungo's iron-fisted rule.

But promises of a few million dollars into the coffers of the all, but insolvent political parties and a few vehicles will open lots of doors for you, including an offer to be vice-president ahead of other coalition partners.

I hope young Chamisa will do things differently this time as opposed to 2013 in which he told Morgan Tsvangirai that he was seeing certain visions, which were pointing towards a victory.

Needless to say that they were shell-shocked like the rest of Zimbabweans when the results started trickling in.

Given that he will be contesting against Lizard Dhakisi Ngwena, it makes sense to consult a person who evicted him from his fortress of Kwekwe and made him seek sanctuary in Chirumhanzu- Zibagwe.

That person is called Blessing Chebundo.

The next time Chamisa holds one of his rallies, he should give Chebundo the podium to address the people and see the reaction.

But unfortunately, that may not happen as there is now a perception among some influential people in the party that "old" people do not add value to the movement.

That kind of thinking is exactly the one we had in the Zanu PF G40 faction; that young people needed to take over the reins of power.

How the mighty have fallen

Many of you were obviously very concerned following what was described as "unusual activity" at the Blue Roof mansion in Borrowdale.

Following the November coup, it was very comforting to know that all Zimbabweans are very concerned about our welfare and that is why some of you are working very hard that the family will be represented in the presidium if a certain alliance of job-seekers wins the elections.

However, there was certainly no need to panic as the "unusual activity" was necessitated by a small incident that required one of the "Boyz DzeSmoko" to visit a local hospital.

Can you imagine the humiliation that the family endured from all those curious stares that we received from ordinary people.

If we could have had it our way, we would have simply commandeered an Air Zimbabwe plane to Dubai, Singapore or any other decent country with functional infrastructure.

Happily for us, the incident was not serious and the boy was discharged after a short while.

Naturally, all the haters were making wild and ludicrous allegations on possession and use of illegal intoxicants at a certain affluent house.

Untrue of course.

While still on the subject of medical facilities, it was interesting to see Lizard Ngwena in Kadoma officiating at a refurbished wing of a government hospital facilitated with support from a mining company.

Any attempts to hint or imply that the "new dispensation" had put a penny in that effort were quickly rebuffed by social media warriors who stood in defence of the truth.

It is not the duty of government to improve health delivery at public hospitals.

That is for foreigners, especially white people and other rich people who don't know what to do with their money.

Because the ruling class know that public hospitals are starved of funding, if they develop diarrhea or get traumatised by an explosive device, they are airlifted to South Africa for treatment while their aides or bodyguards are sent to local hospitals to face certain death.

Romeo and Juliet in our elections

I have always found it odd, the way Zimbabweans like pretending to be all-righteous and straight.

Look at how people like Baba Jukwa are alleging that our lady boss at the Zimbabwe Electoral Commission is quite close to one of Ngwena's favourite ministers.

Even the opposition has bought into the idea of bashing the couple when all that is at play is nothing but simple jealousy over a power couple.

The same opposition loudmouths were very quiet when Tsvangison defied all odds by dating or marrying women with very strong links to Zanu PF.

When the opposition leader marries the daughter of a ruling party's central committee member, that is not a small development.

When the chairman of the same opposition party marries the daughter of a Zanu PF government minister, that is not small talk.

Even judges and ministers need love, so if we have our own Romeo and Juliet out there, please let them be.

It's like the way people were so bitter many years ago when then president married an unsophisticated typist in a very colourful wedding.

They even predicted that she would be the cause of his downfall.

But I had one answer for them.

Munopenga!!!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

Ntombizodwa woyeee!

Gushaz woyeee!

l Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

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