17 May 2019

South Africa: Seven Mood-Changers in Conversations


Tired of fighting about the way you're speaking, instead of what you're talking about? Here are a few tips that may help.

If you've had enough of going around in circles in your intimate conversations and get so lost that you don't even know what you're both talking about anymore, consider these seven essential relationship skills to change the mood of your conversations. They might just calm the situation down, and move you in the direction of in-depth understanding.

Showing interest and understanding instead of trying to fix

Your focus in a conversation is, firstly, to show interest in your partner's real experience and, secondly, to understand what they're saying to you. Your focus should be less about being right or trying to fix things and more about real interest and understanding. If you have a problem-solving mindset, you might be looking for solutions, rather than listening to your partner.

A solution will usually come when you both feel seen, acknowledged and understood. That moment is a relief for most - the moment in which you notice that your partner is trying hard to hear you, and showing real interest in what you're saying. Being seen makes us feel deeply...

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