Kenya: A Westerner Asked On Quora If Kenya Has Internet. Big Mistake!

20 September 2019

An unidentified person got more than they bargained for when they asked on Quora if Kenya had internet.

Quora is an American question-and-answer website where questions are asked, answered, and edited by Internet users, either factually, or in the form of opinions.

The question did not go down well going by the answers, as many people felt the question was condescending.

Eric Mutema had a simple answer. "No sir, I am in Kenya right now and I can assure you my tree (in which I eat, sleep and spend my days) has no internet whatsoever."

He added that if any of his neighbours in the forest and the posh bourgeoisie idiots in the caves had any internet he would have known it by now through the daily smoke signal send out by our chief's son.So in conclusion sir. We do not have nor will we have any internet any time soon."

Another smoke answer came one Allan Kamaliki who said that he lives in Kenya and no, "we don't have internet."

"Smoke is the most efficient mode of communication here since our rudimentary languages are not developed enough for any coherent communication. It's quite dangerous though since our treehouses don't like fire so much and there can be no smoke without fire - unless you have a car which Kenyans don't," he added.

He posed, "Now tell me why we need the internet when we can send all the messages we need to send just with smoke?"

"Absolutely not, and whoever tells you otherwise is lying. The white and red-skinnes traders who often come to our shores with their wooden contraptions that float on water have often brought with them tales of a great wonder known as the Internet," answered Benedict Mwaura.

MOBILE MONEY

Mugo Mahianyu said that for a fact, No! "Kenyan citizens, like the rest of East Africans walk all the way to china in order to at least post anything on the web. We clearly have no access to Internet. Actually, the government of the republic of Kenya is collaborating with the Chinese government to have internet piped to us at least once every two weeks."

Timothy Gorman Wafula retorted: "No, in fact, the home of M-PESA and mobile money transaction largely rely on smoke signals to send and receive money."

"No. We use black magic, pigeons, night runners, and shouting across ridges to communicate. In fact, right now, I'm on top of a baobab tree to reply you via black magic while Cayman-alligator-crocodile monster of a hybrid is busy trying to make a meal of me," answered one Sewe Saldanha.

But there were a few who decided to give the person a few correct answers.

Vinnie Gems said that Kenya a great internet connection. "Most Kenyan citizens access the internet services using their Mobile phones and a smaller percentage using computers although Cyber Cafes are very common in Kenya," he said.

One Peter Njuguna responded by saying that Kenya has the world's 14th-fastest mobile internet speed: Oscar Kibet gave his perspective by replying, "Yes, Kenya has internet and its broadband is one of the fastest in Africa. There is coverage of 4G and 3G networks in practically all the regions of the country."

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