Nairobi — According to World Vision, Gender Based Violence (GBV) cases are rife in Kenya.
The major types affecting families include domestic violence, sexual abuse cases like rape and harmful cultural practices such as child marriage and Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).
In Kenya, just as in most African Countries, GBV disproportionately affects more women than men.
According to the Kenya Demographic and Health Survey (KDHS), over 40 percent of women have experienced physical or sexual intimate partner violence in their lifetime.
Mercy (not her real name), a single mother of three children, is just but a victim of Gender Based Violence due to love gone wrong.
A blossom of love between her and her foreign life partner whom she met 21 years ago turned out into poison that nearly killed her.
The 41-year-old had just cleared high school when she met Jean from Congo who was 15 years older than her. At the time Mercy was working in a salon.
Their conversation sparked an instant connection and that is when Mercy decided to give Jean a chance in her life.
"I had just finished high school, by that time I was working at a salon, and I met this man who was around 15 years older than me, and he approached me, after he met my parents, I decided to give him a chance in my life," she said.
After getting their first kid together the once loving man changed and became a toxic and insecure man.
He could not stand seeing Mercy talking to other men and he could often force Mercy to have intimacy even when she was not ready and abuse her physically.
"I remember one time; it was kind of a struggle until it happened. There was also a day when I was in church and he saw me talking to another man and told me I was bringing prostitution in church," she added.
Despite the toxic marriage that exposed Mercy to physical and emotional torture she chose to remain in the marriage unit.
Fearing the ridicule that comes with failed marriage, especially in the African society, her mother told her to preserve downplaying the challenges as the typical issues that come with marriage, especially on the onset.
"I was often abused physically and emotionally but I chose to stay for the sake of my children hoping he would change, my mother also told me to persevere saying that those are normal marriage challenges, she also feared how the church and neighbors will see us if I walk out of marriage," Mercy said.
According to Physiology Today therapists, most people tend to stay in unhappy marriages because of the threat of physical violence, further emotional abuse, harming children by depriving them of a nuclear family and the concern of how friends and family will perceive them.
Dennis Otieno Owuor, Senior legal chairperson in the access to justice team at Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) says that most GBV cases happen in family set ups, in relationships, marriages.
Additionally, Owuor states that Civic Education to the masses is key action in mitigating GBV incidences, stating that the society needs to know the importance of respecting an individual dignity and understanding that all men and women need to be respected and valued.
"The community needs to understand that it does not matter if a person is a man or a woman, they need to be respected regardless, they need to be valued, when you value something, you will protect it, if you do not value something you will attack it," Owuor said.
Owing to the country's legal system, he further advises victims to first report the incident to the police before seeking help from NGOs for punitive action to be taken in the increasing cases.
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Additionally, Owuor states that lack of belief creates stigma to the victim. Economic status of the country can lead to GBV cases. When the Economic situation is harsh, Owuor states that GBV cases rise.
"It is this lack of believe that creates stigma that feeds the victim to say that they will not be able to get any help, when the economy is harsh, you find that GBV cases rises example was during the Covid period," he stated.
The clarion call being made is for the government to be in the frontline in providing Civic education to the public in order to reduce GBV incidences.
"We should put value to the people via the government because it has the maximum resource unlike NGOs," he said.
Mercy finally got help from FIDA, she was counselled, and she managed to heal.
She advises those going through her past situation to always listen to their inner feelings.
