Washington, DC — I have been told by some that I am courageous. Others suggest I'm reckless, if not foolish. Maybe it's the 35 years I've spent navigating the frontlines of conflicts in Africa from Somalia, to the regional and civil wars that unfolded in Liberia and Sierra Leone. Or it could be my refusal to let the health emergencies of Ebola and Covid get in the way of my travelling to the African continent.

Whatever I am made of, nothing prepared me for the inner courage I would need to muster after   October 7 as a first-generation American Jew, whose family was among the last wave of German Jews to find refuge in America in 1934.

This was an entirely different demand for me. It was not about putting myself in harm's way. That's the easy stuff. I had to decide if I was willing to test the relationships I've built over three decades to see if they would hold in a world turned upside down where the massacre of 1,200 innocent Israelis is viewed as a "just" response, and Israel's war of self-defense is criminalized as genocide.

And I had to do so at a time when a terrorist organization, which makes a deliberate tactical choice to place its military command in civilian centers, and who is funded by Iran to destabilize the Middle East, a nation which executes women for crimes of immodesty, is glorified in the streets of our major cities.

Was I willing to raise my voice, as a long-time advocate for women political participation, against the insincerity of a tight-knit, lionized community which has decided that sexual violence perpetrated against Israeli women by Hamas, including gang rape and mutilation, did not warrant outrage?

My mother's mother, my Oma, who saw the clouds of antisemitism forming over Germany and enabled me to be part of a privileged generation of survivors, used to tell me that 'when you are seeking strength and courage, it is best to speak to those who need it more than you.'  So, that's what I did.

Last month, I was one of 23 congregants from three Reform synagogues in the Washington, D.C.-metropolitan area, Washington Hebrew, Baltimore Hebrew and Temple Rodef Shalom, who traveled to Israel on a mission of solidarity. We were a diverse group, and like many in America, deeply divided amongst ourselves. How do we, a community that values every single life, Israeli and Palestinian, respond in a war against a terrorist organization that does not?

We were exposed to the full spectrum of experiences and opinions in Israel: Jew and Arab, Muslim, and Christian, Reform and Orthodox, Settler and Refugee, Government and Protestor. We crossed into the West Bank to meet with the mayor of a Jewish Settlement, and visited a community center in Jerusalem to hear from Palestinian human rights activists.  We congregated with a graduating class from the Israeli Defense Force being sworn in at the Western Wall.  We visited Hostage Square for Saturday night prayer and protests and met civil society leaders who assured us that Israelis would return to the streets to rally against the Netanyahu government's attack on the country's independent courts as soon as the war was over. We spoke to survivors, witnesses, and the families of hostages. We shared breakfast with the displaced families who had taken up residence at our hotels.

In the end, we were tasked to bring back to our respective communities the truths we heard, unencumbered by the rigidity of our politics and opinions.

Here's what I took back home:

First, President Biden is revered in Israel for what is perceived to be his steadfastness to stand up for the right of Israel to defend itself. Israelis recognize the intense political pressure he is under at home and abroad. This was true even of the most right-wing of voices we heard. We were implored not to permit Israel to be a casualty of partisan politics in America and to not let Hamas and its Iranian backers sow divisions amongst American Jews by using our democratic values against us.

Second, most Israelis support a cessation of hostilities to permit the release of the 132 hostages still held in Gaza, and to provide for much-needed humanitarian assistance to the Palestinian people. They know the inhumanity of their Hamas captors; they live their trauma.  That being said, there is a near unanimity that there should be no permanent ceasefire unless and until Hamas is defeated or surrenders. That this is the most existential threat to face Israel since the establishment of the Jewish State.

Third, Israelis do not need the U.S. government to play Israeli politics at this time of national emergency. They see it as a distraction that emboldens Hamas. They accept the nature of the War Cabinet, and believe they are more than capable of handling their government through their democratic process, which according to polling, predicts that Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu will almost certainly be defeated in the next election.

Fourth, Israelis contend that many Arab moderate leaders want to see Hamas defeated, but that they too fear the Arab street and believe that Hamas has weaponized the Palestinian cause. A forward path must consider this reality. They contend that October 7 was about stopping the peace agreement between Israel and Saudi Arabia, that it is Iran and its proxies who are standing in the way of a Middle East that accepts Israel's right to exist.

Fifth, and finally, we learned what winning would look like from a survivor of the massacre in Kibbutz Nahal Oz.  True victory, he told us, would be when we build back stronger. When Palestinians, those who cheered on Hamas, stand at the border's edge, and look right, see the piles of rubble and debris that surround them. They look left, and glimpse at our fields ready for harvest, our children at play, and our rebuilt communities. Then, they will realize that Hamas' war was for nothing. They will come to terms with the fact that a society driven by hatred ends up preying on its own.   

And just as my Oma promised, by speaking to those who needed courage more than me, I found clarity.

K. Riva Levinson is president and CEO of KRL International LLC, a D.C.-based consultancy that works in the world's emerging markets, award-winning author of "Choosing the Hero: My Improbable Journey and the Rise of Africa's First Woman President. You can follow her on X @rivalevinson