There is little to suggest that the election will be a stable affair with blue-blazer middle-class behaviour, and that the days after the poll will return South Africa to its elusive happy place.

Well, the election is almost here. There is little that has not already been said. We're now in that brief period, like the one when I told students on the days before final exams, "It's too late. If you haven't learned anything by now, there is nothing you can do. There is no need to cram new ideas into your head in the 24 hours before an exam. You should, right this minute, be able to write the exam. My only advice is that you breathe. Just breathe."

Among the things to look forward to, if you're twisted and perverse, as I am, is the tedious barrage of accusations, claims, counter-claims, conspiracies and moans and groans of politicians and political spokespeople in the latter hours of 29 May.

In the closing hours of 29 May, all SA's political parties will claim they received more votes than they have/did, and the populists will base their claims and arguments on racism, godlessness and those white monopoly capitalists. There will be reports of election interference, intimidation, fiddling with electronics, misreporting, bullying ... and the customary threats of "constitutional challenges".

Elections are always held with candidates dressed in garments of innocence. Everyone is innocent...