In Kinyarwanda, there is a famous saying that goes "imfura ishinjagira ishira", which can loosely be translated to "the noble walk gracefully but in pain". Another one says "amarira y'umugabo atemba ajya mu nda", which literary means "a man's tears flow in his stomach".
Sayings about "manning up" and "sucking it up", specifically targeting men, are many, but how many encourage them to actually take care of their mental health?
Every June is Men's Mental Health Awareness Month to address the stigma around men's mental health, as well as raise awareness on the importance of mental health among them.
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Although in many cultures, harmful beliefs on not dealing with men's emotions are still widely preached, mental health experts warn that this is not the best strategy. Research has shown that men are less likely than women to seek help for mental health issues, and are much more likely to commit suicide.
It is really challenging to end harmful beliefs and norms, pertaining to masculinity like these, some of which are engraved in our culture, but if change must be made, they have to be challenged. However, this can only be achieved if we work together as a community to remove barriers that we can.
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While in reality, challenges to help-seeking can be general, such as accessibility and affordability, some can be overcome. There is no doubt that men would seek help from trusted people, such as family, friends, and professionals, if we support them.
To the men, your emotions matter and there is nothing wrong with seeking help from trusted friends, family members, or even specialists, in order for you to cope. You matter, and so is your mental health. It is better to take care of yourself before it is too late.