Wednesday, April 26, 2023, will forever be etched in my heart as the most precious day of my life.
I stood beside my wife Sharon, in the labour ward, her hand clasped tightly in mine, as we both prepared to welcome our daughter into the world.
"We are almost there, Sharon. Just one more push," the nurse encouraged her. Sharon gathered every ounce of strength, and our little princess arrived.
I can't explain the flood of emotions when I held her for the first time--tiny, delicate, and ours. I kissed her forehead, marveling at the miracle in my arms. Though drained from the ordeal, Sharon wore a smile so pure. We were both overwhelmed.
When the nurse mentioned my wife had a perineal tear, we did not pay much attention. A perineal tear occurs when the baby's head or shoulders stretch the vaginal tissue and perineum, causing a tear as the baby is delivered.
"I am just going to place a few stitches. You will be fine in no time," the nurse reassured us. But it wasn't that simple.
The tear was worse than we were initially told, and the stitches--many more than just a few--didn't heal as expected. Instead, they caused her immense pain, to the point where her daily activities were restricted.
She would take several tablets and ointments but the relief was only temporary.
"How long do I have to keep taking these painkillers? Why aren't the stitches healing on their own?" she asked me one day on the brink of tears.
As time dragged on, so did the emotional and physical pain.
"We have tried everything, but I feel like I am sinking into a dark space. I can't remember the last time I felt like myself," she said one evening.
"There was a time I found comfort in seeing our baby, but now I feel sad. The pain is stopping me from being the mother I want to be."
There is nothing worse than seeing the person you love crumble and realising there's nothing you can do. Every word of comfort felt empty, and every promise of things getting better rang hollow. I saw her slipping further into darkness, and it shattered me.
I tried to be strong, to hold her up, but the weight of her despair was too heavy. She was drowning, and I couldn't reach her. I would get home to find her crying and it shattered me.
"I'm exhausted, Tendai. These stitches, this pain... I think I'm slipping into depression," she said.
And she was.
Post-Natal Depression (PND) had quietly taken root, and we had not even realised how deep it had gone. PND (also called postpartum depression) is a type of depression that affects some women after giving birth.
It typically develops within the first few weeks or months after childbirth but can occur anytime within the first year.
"This condition goes beyond the common "baby blues," which are temporary feelings of sadness, anxiety, or exhaustion that many women experience shortly after giving birth," said trauma healing facilitator and birth educator, Joyce Dube.
It wasn't until one of our routine visits to the hospital that I demanded to know what was wrong. That is when they discovered the stitching had been done incorrectly and were removed.
That is when the slow path to physical and mental recovery started. Our story, sadly, is not unique.
While I was there for my wife throughout the journey, many mothers have not been fortunate to have people supporting them when they slip into PND.
It is a condition that is not usually taken seriously by society with many dismissing it as an American disease or a condition for the weak.
Research has shown that African women are expected to quickly "bounce back" after childbirth regardless of complications yet PND is much deeper than exhaustion or a few sleepless nights.
The World Health Organisation has ranked depression as the single largest contributor to global disability, affecting 322 million people and accounting for 7.5 percent of years lived with disability in 2015.
Studies from sub-Saharan Africa have reported higher rates of PND exceeding 30 percent in South Africa, Nigeria and Zimbabwe with substantial within-country heterogeneity.
WHO further adds that in Zimbabwe, PND ranged from 16 percent to 34.2 percent across different settings between 1995 and 2015.
These statistics show that this is a prevalent challenge in Zimbabwe.
In February, 32-year-old Letwin Katsumbe suffered through PND after a mentally grueling labour process.
"I was in labour for nearly four days. The pain was too much but dilation was very slow. I was induced but still nothing happened," she said.
"There were times I could not hear my son's heartbeat and it mentally tortured me. I had to undergo a caesarean section but the experience was traumatising."
She described how after delivery she faced so many challenges from unfriendly health staff, and fears of losing her baby, to physical changes to her body among others.
All these compounded her stress and she was battling depression in no time. Dealing with this dark place is not an easy thing.
A 2018 study titled Understanding postpartum depression in adolescent mothers in Mashonaland Central and Bulawayo Provinces of Zimbabwe revealed that women with PND often experience feelings of guilt, worthlessness and anxiety related to birth and parenting.
"Women going through PND may experience suicide ideation or think about harming their babies. They may also go through non-psychotic depression related to childbearing, which constitutes perinatal depression," read the research in part.
Interviews done by this reporter revealed that some of the mothers are not taken seriously at a time when they will be helpless.
A Marondera-based mother who requested anonymity said she had no one to help her cope with the changes brought by being a mother.
"My parents are both late and members of the extended family weren't as supportive when I told them that I was emotionally struggling with motherhood," she said.
"My baby was not sleeping well at night. He would cry for hours, refuse to be breastfed and wasn't healthy. My husband repeatedly told me to be grateful for the baby and stop crying."
Because of this, she ended up disliking her baby, not giving him attention when he cried.
Statistics from the Zimbabwe Republic Police revealed that 13 cases of infanticide were recorded in 2023 between January and March.
The number of infanticide cases stood at 75 in 2022, while 2021 recorded 110. Many cases, however, go unreported and do not make it into police records.
Analysts believe that many of the women who commit infanticide in the country will be battling PND.
Social justice advocate and founder of Fathers Against Abuse, Alois Nyamazana said the Zimbabwean society, like many others, often regards mental health as secondary to physical health.
"In the context of PND, the emotional toll of childbirth is overlooked, and women are not given the time or support to recover mentally," he said.
"The patriarchal structure of households exacerbates this problem. Men, who typically hold the decision-making power, may not fully comprehend the severity of postnatal depression, viewing it as a temporary emotional phase or, worse, as a sign of weakness."
Psychologist Ivy Mukombachoto concurs with Nyamazana.
"In many cases, women are expected to resume their household responsibilities and caregiving roles immediately after childbirth, irrespective of their physical or emotional state," she said.
"The societal expectation that women should endure without complaint often leaves little space for acknowledging the mental health challenges that accompany PND."
Besides the lack of societal support, access to mental health services in Zimbabwe remains limited, particularly in rural areas.
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For many women, there are no structured support systems available, and healthcare providers may lack the training to identify and address PND.
With few resources allocated to mental health in general, mothers are often left to deal with the condition alone, leading to long-term emotional and psychological consequences for both them and their children.
"I accompanied my wife for postnatal visits. There is limited to no PND help from some of these health institutions," said journalist Lovejoy Mutongwiza who stood by his wife as she battled PND.
"They focus on the baby and rarely do they ask about the mental health of the mother. In a society that has limited knowledge about PND, husbands should support their wives throughout this period. It is not easy for them."
Added Public Health Research Professor in the School of Nursing and Public Health at the University of KwaZulu-Natal Moses Chimbari: "Primary healthcare providers should screen for and offer interventions for depression as a routine component of postnatal care."
Human rights advocate, Lucy Chivasa believes that all is not gloomy.
"To address postnatal depression in Zimbabwe, we need greater awareness, accessible mental health services, and community support for new mothers. Families and society must break the stigma, provide emotional and practical help, and challenge cultural norms that pressure women during motherhood," she said.
True gospel of God Ministries leader, Pastor Enias Dambudzo said it is essential to offer spiritual support and remind the community of its duty to care for mothers facing postnatal depression.
"The church should create a safe space for open conversations, prayer, and counselling, helping mothers find strength and comfort. Families must show love and compassion, recognise that mental health is as important as physical well-being, and offer emotional support."
For my wife and I, it is a journey we do not wish to travel again.
To those going through it now, be there for each other, you are stronger as a unit.
