Uganda at 62 mirrors many African countries, brimming with hustle and bustle, a vibrant kaleidoscope of landscapes and cultures tethered to demigod leaders with extravagant convoys who promised them a better tomorrow, just not today.
In spite of her history, Uganda trudges on like the beehive of activity that is downtown Kampala. On dark days when the heavy stench of regression overpowers our smiley 'parte after parte' vibes, Uganda finds humour in the strangest places. Potholes are unwieldly speed bumps tempering the unacceptably high rate of road accident fatalities.
The boda boda, the ubiquitous merchant of recklessness and convenience, flirts with death daily. On arriving in Kampala, a Kenyan friend asks why the capital city looks like a movie set for a disaster zone. Offended by the truth, I bristle huffily like Uganda's leading flammable snowflakes - leaders who view increasing calls for accountability and good governance as disrespect.
I yearn for a clever comeback but mountainous garbage heaps that bury people and the lingering scent of dysfunction will not let me be. On Instagram, perfect beauties sashay their photogenic lives. A delectable feast for the eyes. I recognize one of the frolicking beauties as a prominent British Nigerian poet and wordsmith.
With over 360,000 followers, she is excellent at her craft, her humour is sharp and unapologetic. To my delighted surprise, she is in Uganda, our Uganda. Thrilled to be in Uganda, she showcases breathtaking views of a fresh and green Kampala. I catch myself delirious at her delight and find that like a regime apologist - I care very much about how my Uganda is portrayed to the outside world.
She praises Uganda for turning her svelte waistline into a chunky waistband thanks to all the delicious goat muchomo she has devoured while in Uganda. Having greedily swallowed the bait, I continue scrolling through her Instagram page, looking for her recent posts on Uganda.
How and why is she in Uganda? Her posts on Uganda all carry this hashtag: "62 since 62." A digital media campaign spearheaded by the president's daughter - Diana Kyaremera Museveni. The hashtag visuals are glitzy and gorgeous. The people are fashionable and breathtakingly insta-perfect.
The aim of 62 since 62 - to weave the rich tapestry of Uganda since 1962 and drive up tourism numbers by tapping into the digital networks of influencers among the African diaspora. Speaking at a campaign dinner on October 10, Kyaremera, the chief guest, is elegant and beautiful.
She has an engaging smile and tilts her head when she speaks, lending her a genial aura. She tells her audience of her dreams and aspirations for Uganda's tourism potential - Uganda's tourism numbers can hit five million in the next 10 years. According to Chimp Reports, Kyaremera is a longstanding conservationist and tourism promoter with over 16 years of experience.
Appealing to the Ugandan diaspora to promote Uganda, she remarks that Uganda is a "country that has been blessed with so many talents - from its fertile soil, its warm tropical climate, its breathtaking scenery and wildlife ... No wonder Winston Churchill termed it the Pearl of Africa." She adds, however, "We Ugandans have not fully taken advantage of this blessing."
I pull away from the beautiful visuals of young and vibrant people wining and dining, revving to take Uganda at 62 to dizzying heights. Their photogenic enthusiasm is infectious. It is an alluring picture of the Uganda we want - of a gorgeous land that works for all of us.
A comment on the social media platform, X (former Twitter) catches my eye. I don't even notice the seamless entrapment of social media- how effortlessly I drift from picture-perfect Instagram to the mad-hatter boxing arena of X where the great unwashed, the bewildered herd, the 'outrage merchants' spit in each other's coffee/tea.
Contemplating Uganda at 62, Duncan Abigaba, a critic on social media, who once worked for one of the state's communication arms, ponders how Ugandans celebrate or don't celebrate Independence day. He tweets of his longing for an Independence Day where Ugandans will enthusiastically deck out in their finest black, yellow and red Build Uganda Buy Uganda (BUBU) apparel and sing the national anthem with tears in their eyes.
His unspoken question hangs: why have Ugandans left the Independence day festivities to public servants and the ruling party? When I ask my elders who lived through the horrors of the bush war in Luweero Triangle about their plans to commemorate Independence Day, they chuckle as if my question unlocks an inside joke. "That's their celebration - foras, we need to look for money".
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Perhaps now is not a good time to tell them about the classy chic of '62 since 62.' If Kyaremera's 10-year projection is right, tourism revenue will put money in the pockets of millions of Ugandans.
The projection is timely, in step with this year's loquacious theme for Independence Day: "Independence Day: A Recommitment to Secure and Fortify our Destiny."
Dear reader, keep trudging on, we will one day join with reckless abandon in the government festivities of Independence day. For now, we have ceded the celebrations to the sacrificial government and regime functionaries as we look for money and scroll through scenic pictures of '62 since 62'.
smugmountain@gmail.com
Olivia Nalubwama is a "tayaad Muzukulu, tired of mediocrity and impunity" smugmountain@gmail.com
