DORAH MWIMA BARRAK, 34, is Miss Uganda 2008, a doula and childbirth educator, founder of Wow Mom, Queen MA and CEO of Denan Baby to Kids shops in Kampala.
She supports women through pre-conception to pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum care. Quick Talk recently had a chat with the mother-of-six - including a set of twins.
Dorah, please tell Quick Talk a little about yourself and this life as a doula.
Funny thing is I have actually been doing this for a very long time, even before knowing it is a profession. My journey started when I conceived my son at the age of 19 [she had her first son, Ethan, with the late Moses Sekibogo, aka Mowzey Radio]; it was during that time when I saw the need and gap of supporting women and newborns.
I had already started the Dorah Mwima Foundation but that journey helped me with deciding what exactly the foundation would be doing. About two and a half years back, is when I realized that something I had been doing for over 10 years is actually a profession with a tittle and so, I started training with Doula Training Institute and attending different workshops.
What are some of a doula's responsibilities during childbirth?
I emphasize on having a calm, empowering, supportive partner connection by helping mothers to reduce their anxiety and fears, making sure the environment is positive for them. Also, doulas help in cheerleading mothers, which helps to shorten labour.
Do you have any memorable experience with a family as their doula?
I was recently supporting a mother who was looking at a vaginal birth after a previous C-section, and she really did not want to go through that experience. I am trained as VBAC [vaginal birth after cesarean delivery] Doula, where I support women to get vaginal births even after having a C-section delivery.
I have also had a vaginal birth after two C-sections. So, I took her through the guidelines and helped her let go of the expectations she had and she successfully had a glorious VBAC.
By the way, congratulations on your sixth born! You make motherhood and childbirth seem so easy!
Thank you [with wide smile]! Yes, I now have three boys and three girls, and I know I make motherhood seem so easy; I am actually sorry I make it seem that way, because it is really not easy. I just get it done.
It is quite a huge mandate to be a co-creator [with] God. I feel so blessed to be a woman and the thing I have really prioritized is self-care; taking care of myself because I know what my body does and goes through during childbirth; so, I be intentional. That, and having a strong support system.
How did you manage to have a successful vaginal birth after two C-sections?
I think the foundation of it all was really to trust my body, equipping myself with a lot of information. I had to look for a supportive care provider, I stayed active, I ate good foods and I mentally prepared myself. Did I mention it was a home birth? Yes, I had a successful home VBAC after two C-sections.
Amazing! Any advice to the expecting mother overwhelmed by hormone changes?
Well, hormonal changes are there, but I believe it is us to stop setting these unrealistic standards around motherhood; yes, you will see Dorah slaying and looking really good, then you look at yourself in the mirror and hate yourself and feel ugly, forgetting that your body is creating a human being and that is something that should make you smile.
It is important to acknowledge what we are feeling then take it day by day and remember to seek help. You can always reach out to Dorah, or a therapist.
Any career challenges you have faced so far?
It's hard to [balance] work and family; that's why I really needed to just set boundaries and know my priority, which is family, because I did not get all these children for other people to raise them. So, when 5 pm reaches I go back home unless I am supporting a birth.
I schedule myself a lot; I note down all my meetings and engagements. Also, having a supportive partner, a good team that understands me makes it easier [in 2013, Dorah married her Lebanese partner, Nader Barrak].
What do you think makes a happy, healthy family?
The pillar of the family, which is the husband and wife; when those two are strong and become one pillar not two pillars, then you are bound to have a happy family. Communication and respect are also important.
As a person who associates with different families, what do you think is causing the rising number of single mothers?
I believe it's because of our culture today in Uganda; you find some women saying I'm ok for my husband to have a side chick as long as he doesn't show her to me or bring her home...
"I was once a single mother and know that at a young age as a woman you can think that maybe if I give this man a child he will love me, or you just have fun irresponsibly with someone who's not looking at having a family with you and you end up single parenting."
How do you define love?
They say love never fades but sometimes love can actually seem faded. So, I always feel like love is also what you invest in. If you invest in love it will come back to you. So, I say love is what you put out there because it is what comes back to you.
By the way, you look amazing! Even after six children!
Thank you! Well, let me tell you something, before you run, learn how to walk; before you walk, learn how to crawl. I prioritize rest, eating well, and exercise.
What would you tell a woman struggling with weight loss?
First of all, know your body type. Secondly, be very intentional; it needs a lot of consistence and patience. Also focus on your nourishment, because health is wealth and yes it is a journey and a lifetime journey actually. also, be your true self, be unapologetically you regarding criticism and bashing; be authentically yourself and always remind yourself to be better than yesterday.
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[To anyone looking up to Dorah:] Challenges will always be there but guess what, you are strong, you are capable as long as God gives you the opportunity to live; it means you have an opportunity to change your life.
Never be afraid to follow your passion; it may take years but just do not give up.
If you were asked to make one wish, what would it be?
To see every mother access unconditional good care during childbirth, pregnancy and postpartum regardless of her circumstances.
Where do you see yourself in five years?
I see myself expanding and growing in advocating my work, delivering concrete substantial initiatives that are going to shift and shake maternal care. I am also looking at training more doulas at Wow Mom, and growing the Queen MA brand and continuing to being a better version of myself and gaining partnerships.
How do you want to be remembered, Dorah?
I want people to remember me as a woman who reminded women to trust in their bodies and as a woman who made a difference in maternal health and the one who was passionate about redefining motherhood. The woman who stood up to injustices happening to mothers and someone who lived her purpose.
