• Some families ask for lobola as high as R90,000, while others accept far less, depending on circumstances.

• Couples say the money is often needed for housing, food and basic setup instead of upfront lobola payments.

For many families, paying lobola is still seen as an important sign of respect and commitment.

But for young couples facing rising food prices, rent and transport costs, the tradition has become harder to afford.

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Lobola amounts vary widely between families. Some ask for as much as R90,000, while others request closer to R15,000.

For couples earning modest incomes, even the lower amounts can feel out of reach.

Many say they are being forced to make difficult choices.

Instead of paying lobola immediately, some couples are choosing to delay negotiations and use their money to secure housing, build rooms, or buy basic household items.

"We want to do things properly," said one young man. "But we also need a place to live and food to eat."

January has become a key time for these discussions.

The month is financially tough for many households, with school fees, transport costs and debts piling up after December spending.

Some couples say this pressure has opened space for negotiation, as families on both sides understand the strain.

"When money is tight, people are more willing to talk," said another man who has delayed paying lobola.