The National Strategic Plan on Gender-Based Violence, which was released in 2020, pledged to combat harmful gender norms. However, a new study reveals that the battle over what it means to "be a man" is being fought online in real time, with fractures on the frontlines more than ever.
Over the course of a year, South African social media revealed a deeply contested conversation about what it means to be a man today. In a study of more than 2.1 million social media posts, it was revealed that South Africa's concept of manhood is evolving in real-time. Research conducted by the Centre for Analytics and Behavioural Change (CABC) indicates that conversations about masculinity are increasingly marked by emotional strain, financial pressure, and a backlash against men who challenge harmful norms.
The report, Masculine Norms on South African Social Media: One Year Later, analysed posts from over 156,000 accounts across platforms such as X and Facebook. The report aligns with South Africa's National Strategic Plan on Gender-Based Violence and Femicide (GBVF) and the UN Sustainable Development Goal 5 to understand how gender norms change over time and how they fuel inequality, harm, and violence. President Cyril Ramaphosa signed the NSP-GBVF into action in April 2020, establishing a comprehensive 10-year (2020-2030) roadmap.
Challenges to traditional norms
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In the report, it is shown that traditional masculine expectations remain strongly entrenched, but are increasingly being questioned, often at personal cost. The expectation of financial assistance and leadership continues to play an important role. These expectations, however, are often associated with serious psychological consequences. Social expectations that men should be the primary providers remain firmly entrenched despite significant social changes.
Many users described the provider role as a heavy psychological burden, linking the pressure to anxiety, stress and declining well-being. According to the report, "The provider role has not disappeared, but it is now being openly discussed as a mental health risk rather than a badge of honour."
However, alternative views are taking root.
Conversations are increasingly promoting sharing financial responsibility in relationships, with users arguing that easing this pressure contributes to healthier families and better mental health outcomes. The conversations on Facebook reveal tensions regarding financial expectations in relationships, with debates about entitlement, gratitude, and whether a financially driven relationship is risky.
Despite ideals of responsibility, caregiving remains heavily gendered.
Absentee fatherhood has remained a constant theme in the study, suggesting that, given the choice, men tend to disengage from caregiving, resulting in a disproportionate amount of caregiving falling on women.
Online discussions repeatedly acknowledge that the responsibility for most of the day-to-day caregiving still falls on women, even as society promotes ideals of responsibility and leadership. The posts contrast the permanence of motherhood with the relative social acceptability of men's absence, thereby reinforcing significant gender disparities.
Researchers observed that narratives of struggling single fathers seeking assistance on Facebook were met with a mix of empathy, suspicion, and criticism, illustrating the social conflict surrounding fatherhood and vulnerability.
Boys are being raised to perform masculinity
The common belief that raising boys is easier has been challenged across multiple platforms. This led to criticism of the notion that "boys are easier to raise than girls", which results in boys being neglected in terms of hygiene, emotional care, and basic life skills, priming them only for toughness or financial performance.
One user asks how to raise a discussion about cleanliness after using the bathroom, to which another responds, "We are witnessing the results of 'boys are easier to raise than girls." A phrase such as this indicates that the care of a female child requires more effort than the care of a male child, the report said. This is due to the societal expectation that boy children are not required to care for themselves or develop hygienic habits.
The report said that "South African social media is openly questioning a parenting culture that equips boys to perform masculinity, but not to cope with life."
The 'Simp' dynamic
The report documented instances during which men attempted to reject harmful norms, such as abandoning the "bro code" when it excused rape and abuse. It is important to note, however, that these progressive positions have often been met with sharp social media backlash, including being ridiculed or referred to as "simps".
"Accountability and backlash now coexist online – and backlash is often louder."
A persistent social enforcement of hegemonic masculinity has created a perception gap where men fear social exclusion for challenging their peers. This dynamic illustrates the strong social enforcement of hegemonic masculinity. This creates a stark "perception gap," where many men desire reform but fear ostracism or shaming.
'Positive masculinity' is emerging but remains contested
The concept of "positive" or "progressive" masculinity, which reframes power and autonomy in a healthier and inclusive manner, has also gained increasing attention. However, critics contend that labelling positive traits as masculine reinforces rather than dismantles gender hierarchies, and instead advocates values that apply to everyone, regardless of gender.
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In the study, biographical case studies of figures such as Nelson Mandela, Steve Biko, and Martin Luther King Jr. argue that positive masculinity is defined in terms of "love of learning, community connection, critical thinking skills, love for people, and creative courage", not physical dominance or hypersexuality.
Social media has become a key battleground where gender norms are reinforced, challenged, and reshaped in real time, according to the CABC. There is a risk involved in ignoring these digital dynamics and missing key factors that influence gender-based violence, mental health crises, and social divisions. According to the CABC, social media has become a significant arena in which gender norms are being constructed and contested. As a result of these online debates, there is no doubt that they have real-world effects on mental health, relationship dynamics, and violence against women.
"If we want to address gender-based violence at a systemic level, we cannot ignore how masculinity is being constructed, rewarded and punished in everyday digital spaces," said the report.
