- AS economic pressures, changing lifestyles and the influence of social media continue to reshape relationships, many young people are asking the same question, what does it take to build a marriage that lasts?
To find answers, Woman Magazine spoke to long-married couples and family advocates who shared the values, lessons and experiences that have helped sustain their unions through the years.
While there is no universal formula for a successful marriage, those interviewed consistently pointed to love, trust, communication, patience, forgiveness and faith as the pillars of a strong and enduring union. Love, trust and friendship For many couples, genuine love and trust remain the foundation of a successful marriage.
A Dar es Salaam resident who has been married for 18 years, Mr Paul James, said true love must be accompanied by honesty and faithfulness if a marriage is to withstand the tests of time.
Keep up with the latest headlines on WhatsApp | LinkedIn
"Without genuine love and trust, it becomes difficult for a marriage to survive challenges and grow stronger," he said.
Similarly, Glory Tesha believes openness, trust and the fear of God are among the most important pillars of a strong marriage.
Before tying the knot, she and her husband spent more than 10 years as close friends, building a relationship grounded in understanding and trust.
"Our friendship started long before marriage. We understood each other deeply and built trust over time," she said.
She recalled meeting her husband while serving as a national youth leader in church, while he was a member of the congregation.
"The fear of God, openness and treating each other as friends have helped us navigate challenges together," she added.
Sedekia Mwansasu shares a similar view, encouraging young people to marry someone they consider a friend.
"Friendship creates a strong foundation because it encourages openness, trust and understanding," he said.
He also stressed the importance of transparency and accepting one another's strengths and weaknesses.
"Do not pretend to be someone you are not. Be open and authentic from the beginning," he advised.
Communication and shared responsibility Joseph Sabinus, who has been married for 25 years and holds a degree in Social Welfare, believes patience and transparency are among the most important virtues in marriage.
According to him, many marital conflicts arise when couples fail to view family resources and responsibilities as shared commitments.
"Everything should belong to both partners. Once you start dividing things into mine and yours, conflicts are likely to emerge," he said.
Mr Sabinus also emphasized the importance of constructive discussions when making family decisions and encouraged couples to embrace each other's families.
"A wife should treat her husband's family as her own, and the husband should do the same. This strengthens family bonds and promotes harmony," he said.
He cautioned couples against allowing social circles and outside influences to dictate how they run their marriages. "Build your own reality based on your circumstances, not on what others expect," he said.
For Lydia Mwanyemi, a resident of Kibaha, communication and clear expectations are equally important. According to her, couples should discuss key issues before marriage and agree on how responsibilities will be handled.
"There must be respect, discipline and effective communication in every relationship. These values help couples navigate disagreements without damaging their bond," she said.
She also encouraged spouses to make genuine efforts to resolve challenges together before seeking outside intervention.
The power of forgiveness Several of the couples interviewed identified forgiveness as one of the most important ingredients in a lasting marriage.
Angela Gerald, who has been married for 13 years, said forgiveness must come from the heart. "Holding onto resentment only creates distance between partners," she said.
She added that trust and unconditional love help couples overcome even the most difficult moments in their relationship.
Dativa Minja, who has been married for 31 years and serves as Chairperson of the Tanzania Women Association, Kijitonyama Parish Branch, echoed similar sentiments.
"No one is perfect, and that is why couples must learn to tolerate, forgive and forget mistakes," she said.
According to Ms Minja, one of the most effective ways to resolve conflicts is by putting oneself in a partner's position.
Sign up for free AllAfrica Newsletters
Get the latest in African news delivered straight to your inbox
"Try to see things from your spouse's perspective. Understanding how they feel helps prevent unnecessary conflicts," she explained.
She also encouraged spouses to become each other's source of comfort and emotional support during difficult times and warned against involving children in marital disputes.
"Children should never be burdened with their parents' challenges. They deserve a peaceful environment in which to grow," she said.
Faith as a guiding principle Faith emerged as another recurring theme among many of the couples interviewed.
Both Ms Tesha and Ms Mwanyemi said their commitment to God has helped them remain focused on their marital vows and navigate challenges together.
Ms Minja encouraged couples to make faith a cornerstone of their relationships and seek opportunities for continuous learning through marriage seminars and counselling programmes. At the same time, she cautioned couples against accepting advice indiscriminately.
"Be careful about who you discuss your marital issues with. Not every piece of advice is beneficial, and not everyone has good intentions," she said.
