When John Kalisa was recently recognised with a Lifetime Community Service Award in Massachusetts, the honour reflected years of work bringing together Rwandans living in the US state.
For Kalisa, however, the award was never about individual achievement. Instead, he sees it as recognition of a community that has stayed connected to its roots while building new lives abroad.
His own journey reflects that story. Forced to leave Rwanda as a child, Kalisa has spent most of his life outside the country. Yet he speaks of Rwanda with the familiarity and affection of someone who never truly left.
He returns regularly, hopes to relocate permanently one day, and believes members of the diaspora have a responsibility to preserve their identity while contributing to Rwanda's development.
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A childhood shaped by displacement
Kalisa was born in 1962 in Gitarama, now part of Rwanda's Southern Province. Political instability forced his family to flee when he was still young. They first sought refuge in what was then Zaire before briefly returning to Rwanda and settling in Nyundo.
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Soon after, they fled again, returning to Zaire before later moving to Uganda and eventually Ethiopia.
"I was around nine years old when we went to Addis Ababa, and that's where I was raised," Kalisa recalls. "I spent about 11 years there, completed primary and secondary school, and later moved to Gabon. Growing up, all I knew was moving from one place to another because of conflict. After high school, I decided I didn't want to live anywhere close to war because that had been my life."
In 1986, he moved to the United States for college and has lived there ever since, raising a family with his wife and their three daughters. Despite the distance, Rwanda remained central to his identity.
Holding on to home
Living abroad, Kalisa says, strengthened rather than weakened his attachment to Rwanda.
Asked what kept him connected to a country he left as a child, he pauses before answering.
"That question gives me emotions. Our family fled Rwanda, and as I grew older I kept asking myself why we had to leave. The more I reflected, the more I realised there was no reason to abandon who I was," he says.
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"I lived in Ethiopia, Gabon and later the United States, but nowhere did I feel I had to stop being Rwandan."
He says integrating into American society never meant abandoning his identity.
"I quickly integrated into life in the United States. I was another Black person in America, but I also wanted to keep my identity.
"Even when I had the opportunity to become an Ethiopian citizen, I wasn't ready because I knew I already had my own identity as a Rwandan. I never gave up on that, and I never will."
Maintaining that identity also meant reconnecting with the language.
Having spent much of his childhood outside Rwanda, Kalisa admits his Kinyarwanda was once limited. Learning it required determination.
"It took me years to improve my Kinyarwanda," he says. "I made a conscious effort because I wanted to be closer to my roots. Today I can comfortably hold conversations, and I always tell people that if I could learn after growing up abroad, then others can too.
"I'm here because I love my country. I love my people. All Rwandans are my family."
Building a community
That sense of belonging eventually evolved into community service.
In the aftermath of the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi, Kalisa and two other Rwandans established a community association in Massachusetts. At the time, fewer than 10 Rwandans lived in the state.
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Their initial goal was to create a registered non-profit organisation to raise funds for people in need back home.
"We started in November 1995 with just three people," Kalisa recalls. "There weren't many Rwandans in Massachusetts, so even members of our board came from other states because we wanted to create something that could unite us."
The association soon became more than a fundraising platform. It also helped newly arrived Rwandans settle into life in the United States.
"When someone arrived, we would receive them and help them integrate into the American community," he says.
"My wife and I would invite them to stay with us for a week, sometimes a month or even three months until they found a job and could stand on their own. My wife deserves a lot of credit because she has been my right hand throughout that journey."
Nearly three decades later, the association has grown from three members to about 300 registered members, while the wider Rwandan community in Massachusetts now exceeds 1,000 people.
Kalisa says the recent recognition belongs to everyone who helped build that community.
"It recognises people who have dedicated their time to bringing Rwandans together. For me, it is really about the community itself and everyone who has been part of that journey."
Supporting Rwanda from abroad
While helping fellow Rwandans settle in the United States remains important, Kalisa believes the diaspora also plays a vital role in Rwanda's development.
Over the years, the Massachusetts community has organised fundraising initiatives to support students, survivors of the Genocide against the Tutsi and other vulnerable groups.
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"We started by raising money for people who needed help in Rwanda, and that continues today," he says.
"There are different community activities, including women's groups that support women survivors of the Genocide. Whenever there is a need, people come together and contribute whatever they can."
He notes that many contributions are less visible but equally significant.
"Many Rwandans abroad support their families every month. They pay school fees, help with rent and provide assistance in many other ways.
"Others have invested in land, houses and businesses. Those may look like personal investments, but they also contribute to the country's economy."
Kalisa also promotes Rwanda through a small coffee roasting business outside Boston, while another member of the community imports Rwandan coffee into the American market.
"We work hard to promote Rwanda through its products," he says. "Every opportunity to introduce someone to Rwandan coffee is also an opportunity to tell Rwanda's story."
Preserving language and culture
For Kalisa, preserving identity begins with everyday traditions. Community gatherings revolve around Rwandan food, cultural celebrations and speaking Kinyarwanda.
"We maintain our culture because culture begins with language," he says. "Without language, your culture is incomplete. That's why we encourage families to speak Kinyarwanda at home, celebrate Umuganura and continue gathering as a community."
He acknowledges that passing the language on to the next generation has not been easy in his own family.
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"I have to speak honestly about that. I didn't have the opportunity to teach my daughters Kinyarwanda very well because I wasn't fluent myself when they were growing up. As my own Kinyarwanda improved, I encouraged them to learn more. That experience taught me how important it is for parents to start early."
He believes young Rwandans born abroad can still build a strong connection to their heritage if families make the effort.
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"I did not grow up in Rwanda, yet I learned Kinyarwanda because I wanted to. That tells me it is possible. It takes effort, but it is possible."
Telling Rwanda's story
Beyond preserving culture within the diaspora, Kalisa believes Rwandans abroad have a responsibility to share a more complete picture of their country.
"When I first spoke to people about Rwanda, many only knew it through Hotel Rwanda," he says.
"Today the conversations are different. People want to know about investment, development and what Rwanda looks like now. We have a responsibility to explain where the country has come from and where it is going."
He says those conversations often begin with simple questions about language, culture and daily life.
"A lot of people are surprised to learn that Kinyarwanda is our principal language. Many assume African countries only speak the languages of former colonial powers. Explaining our language and culture helps people understand that Rwanda has its own identity."
Kalisa also encourages young Rwandans born abroad to visit Rwanda, reconnect with their heritage and consider investing in the country.
"They have been blessed to have a country where they can come freely, live, invest and feel at home," he says.
"I encourage every Rwandan overseas to continue promoting Rwanda and teaching others about it. When people come here and see the country for themselves, they understand its transformation much better than they ever could from a distance."
After decades abroad, Kalisa says his future remains firmly tied to Rwanda.
"It is a wonderful country with a great future," he says. "I hope more young people will continue the work of keeping that connection alive because Rwanda belongs to all of us, whether we live here or abroad."
