For author and scholar Joy Uwanziga Nzamwita, some of the most important lessons she carries with her were shaped long before she opened a textbook.
Those lessons, once passed from one generation to another through conversation and example, are at the heart of her latest book, Rising with Dignity: The African Stoic, The Rwandan Way.
The book, the product of years of reflection, reading, travel and conversations across cultures, will be launched on August 29 at Kigali Marriott Hotel.
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For Uwanziga, however, the book is less about presenting answers than putting into writing some of the wisdom she believes Rwanda and Africa already possess.
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"I don't really want to say that I have all the answers," she says. "Maybe I just use the skills I have with languages or the love I have for people's cultures, books and reading, and share my little knowledge that I got from all of that. Maybe someone may learn one or two things from it."
From diplomacy to authorship
Uwanziga studied at the former National University of Rwanda in Butare, now the University of Rwanda, before moving to Europe, where she pursued a master's degree in International Protocol and Diplomacy in Brussels.
She spent more than 15 years working in the Netherlands, including at a diplomatic mission where she served as an embassy secretary and worked in consular affairs.
She later moved to Dublin, Ireland, where she is completing a PhD in Migration Studies at University College Cork. Her research focuses on the social and political factors behind continued migration in the Great Lakes region.
Those experiences prompted her to reflect more deeply on the values she had inherited growing up in Rwanda.
"Older people would often tell us, 'Rwandans do things this way.' Those lessons taught us humility and shaped our personality," she says.
That memory became one of the questions behind Rising with Dignity: what happens to a society's values when they remain largely unwritten while the world around it changes rapidly?
A book that started as something else
The origins of the book can be traced to something much smaller.
While living in the Netherlands, Uwanziga began teaching Kinyarwanda to Rwandans married to Dutch people, as well as Dutch nationals interested in the language and Rwanda.
As she prepared teaching materials and assignments, she found herself researching more deeply. What began as lesson notes gradually grew into something larger.
That encouragement pushed her to think beyond a language resource and towards a full-length book.
What emerged was Rising with Dignity, a reflection on values, identity, resilience, dignity and how people respond to life's challenges.
An African conversation about Stoicism
At the centre of the book is an idea familiar from Stoic philosophy: while people cannot control everything that happens to them, they can choose how they respond.
Uwanziga draws on Roman thinkers including Marcus Aurelius and Seneca, while also exploring Greek philosophy and African traditions that she believes embody many of the same principles later formalised in Western philosophical thought.
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She is particularly interested in the idea that external circumstances should not have complete control over a person's emotions or decisions.
"You're allowed to have feelings too, but control them instead of them controlling you," she says.
The message is familiar: endure difficult moments, remain disciplined, keep working and do not allow hardship to define who you are.
That, she says, is where she sees a connection between Stoicism and what she describes as a distinctly Rwandan resilience.
"I think we naturally have those strengths of being resilient," she says. "We went through a lot, but the fact that we know how to rise again naturally, we do have those strengths."
Rising, but with dignity
The title of the book is deliberate.
For Uwanziga, resilience is not simply about surviving hardship. It is also about how a person conducts themselves afterwards.
"Every time you fall, what you do after falling is what matters more," she says. "So in our Rwandan African way, you do fall, you rise, but even the way you rise matters a lot. We rise with dignity."
That idea runs throughout the book's reflections on identity.
Uwanziga believes people often introduce themselves by listing schools attended, jobs held or achievements accumulated. Yet, for her, character says more about who a person really is.
"When you tell someone, 'Tell me about you,' most of the time we'd be like, 'I am this, I did this, I went to school here.' But really, the way we should be looking at it is the character," she says.
She believes character is especially important for a society that has had to rebuild itself.
Following the 1994 Genocide against the Tutsi, Rwanda needed more than financial resources and physical reconstruction, she says. It also required resilience, determination and people prepared to keep going in the face of loss.
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She recalls the example of a mother who lost her family during the genocide but continued living and rebuilding. Such resilience, she argues, is part of the strength societies need to pass from one generation to the next.
The danger of forgetting who we are
Uwanziga's concern about culture is not about rejecting modernity, but embracing change without losing cultural grounding.
But she believes openness should not require cultural amnesia.
One theme in Rising with Dignity is the importance of language in preserving cultural identity.
She says she has sometimes felt disappointed when Rwandans take pride in their children speaking English, French or Spanish while paying less attention to whether they can speak Kinyarwanda.
"It makes me unhappy to see Rwandans being proud because our children speak good English, French, Spanish, but then they don't speak Kinyarwanda," she says. "We should be ashamed of ourselves."
The same applies to migrants and refugees who come to Rwanda. In her current work supporting migrants and refugees, Uwanziga says misunderstandings can arise when people arrive without knowing the host country's customs, language or history.
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Sometimes, she argues, a simple understanding of local culture can prevent unnecessary conflict.
Rwanda has stories to tell
Uwanziga also wants to see more Rwandans write about their own country.
"There is a lot that we have to tell about our beautiful people and beautiful country," she says.
For her, documenting Rwandan values is more than an exercise in patriotism. It is also about ownership.
Other people will always write about Rwanda, she says, but they will inevitably tell stories through their own interests and perspectives.
"Because no one is living our life," she says.
She does not believe Rwanda's culture is superior to that of other societies. Instead, she sees value in knowing what one's own society has to offer while remaining open to learning from others.
Holding on in the digital age
While Rising with Dignity draws heavily on traditional values, Uwanziga is equally aware of the challenges of preserving them in a rapidly changing world.
Social media, in particular, has transformed how people communicate and how quickly ideas travel.
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She remembers evenings when families would simply sit together, eat and talk. Now, she says, a person's day can begin with a phone before they have had time to think.
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"You wake up in the morning, the first thing, you reach your phone," she says. "By the time you're going to start your day, you may already be upset because you had maybe read a few prices high because of something that you won't be able to change."
Her response is another expression of the book's central idea: begin the day with yourself.
Wake up, breathe, drink water, make the bed, pray or reflect, and decide what the day should look like before allowing social media to dictate your mood.
Focus your energy on what you can control.
What she hopes to leave behind
Uwanziga does not see Rising with Dignity as the final word on Rwandan values. It is, she says, one contribution to a conversation that should continue.
Her hope is that the lessons in her book will travel across generations, just as the values that inspired it did.
What matters most to her is not recognition as an author, but what a reader might carry away.
"The legacy I would love my writings to leave behind is whoever gets a chance to read it just considers being human," she says, defining that humanity through integrity: doing the right thing in the right place, even when nobody is watching.
That may be the simplest way to understand the journey that brought her from Kigali to diplomatic work in Europe, from teaching Kinyarwanda to writing a book on philosophy and culture.
For Uwanziga, the world may change, societies may evolve and technology may continue to reshape how people live.
But some things are worth carrying forward: resilience, dignity, character, gratitude, the responsibility to help one another, and the stories that remind each generation where it came from.
