18 May 2018

Africa: Nevermind the Royal Wedding, Just Bring Back Our Stuff! #TiredofWaiting

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We all know the West looted the African continent. If it wasn't people who were abducted and made to be slaves, it was cultural artifacts and treasures that were carted off to be "studied" and "displayed" in Western museums. It's a thing. But Africa's people are tired of it and we want our shit back.

Here are our list demands, and this is only the start:

1. Crown Jewels are first on the list.

We'll allow her to lay claim to being a slay queen, but Queen Elizabeth needs to send back South Africa's Cullinan Diamonds: The Cullinan I or the Great Star of Africa, at 530.4 carats, and the Cullinan II or the Second Star of Africa, weighing in at 317.4 carats, would be a good start in terms of reparations for colonialism slavery and subjecting us to Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair and the Spice Girls.

2. Nefertiti Busts

Nefertiti was an Egyptian queen and the Great Royal Wife of Akhenaten, an Egyptian Pharaoh. According to Wikipedia, Nefertiti ruled from (c. 1370 – c. 1330 BC), a period that some refer to as the wealthiest time in ancient Egyptian history. The Germans took her statue in 1913 using fraudulent documents.

3. Idris Elba and Lupita Nyong'o

Just.for.good.measure. And because we deserve them.

4. The Bangwa Queen

The Bangwa Queen has passed through the hands of many collectors since she was stolen from her royal shrine in Cameroon. The wooden sculpture, which is believed to be more than a thousand years old, was taken away by German colonial explorer, Gustav Conrau, in the 1890s. In 1990, the artwork sold at a New York auction for a record-breaking U.S.$3.4 million, making it the world's most expensively priced African artwork at the time.

5. The Land.

Yes, yes, it may have been hundreds of years but addressing the genocide and displacement of our ancestors has no cut-off date. Them missionaries and colonialists and their descendants need to come to the party. And no, it's not a royal tea!

I thank you.

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