Rev. Dr. Momolu Massaquoi, President of the Liberia Baptist Theological Seminary, says the fire of love that was burning when they first met as high school sweethearts is still burning even more after thirty years. "I still love my wife, and she also loves me. This is why we are celebrating our 30th Valentine's together and our wedding anniversary," he said.
Valentine's Day is a day where people share gifts with their loved ones, including married couples, young and old lovers. But celebrating thirty years of falling in love over again as each Valentine's passes is a double celebration for Dr. Massaquoi and his wife, Layahn Massaquoi, as they will be celebrating their thirtieth wedding anniversary on February 19, 2024.
In an interview with the couple at their Seminary Residence, Deacon Mrs. Layahn Kou Massaquoi said they are still in love as they were as high school sweethearts at St. Mary's High School in Yekepa, Nimba County, after meeting and becoming friends in the Ebenezer Baptist Church Choir in Yekepa.
She said even though she was skeptical at first when they met because he was already in a relationship with another lady, when he later became available after the lady traveled out of the country, she was encouraged to start a relationship with him. She said the secret to their longevity in marriage is communication, which helped them overcome many challenges in their home, but they overcame their obstacles together. "Communication is the key and do not allow a third party to interfere in your relationship; instead, both of you should address it together and take it to the Lord in prayer. Third parties are responsible for many broken homes today. My advice to younger girls who are hoping to get married is that they should first respect their partner. Even though my husband and I were the same age when we got married, I respected him. I did not try to override him or make it look like we were equal. We are still in love like when we first met and are blessed with four girls in our marriage," she said.
As advice to younger girls who want to get married, she said they should first date the person to understand the kind of person they intend to spend the rest of their lives with. And they should also remain in their parents' home until the man marries them and takes them away. "I want to say to the younger girls they should study the person very well because what is happening in the country today is that immediately a boy tells a girl he loves her, they are quick to pack their things and move into a man's house. There are many cases today where a lady will pour acid on another lady who dies in the process because they were in a relationship with the same man and nothing comes out of it, all because she left her parents' home to go and live with the man she was not married to. Lastly, they should learn to be self-reliant and not always rely on the man to provide money for everything," she concluded.
Dr. Massaquoi said it was not an easy journey when he met his wife at the Ebenezer Baptist Church in Sanniquellie, Nimba County, when her family had just returned from Guinea, and she joined the choir in which he was a director. But as a parent wanting the best for their children, his wife's mother was not in favor of their dating at first. Laughing while answering the question as to whether he wrote his wife's parents, as was required in the old school days, before dating their daughter, he said, in fact, he had written several letters but encountered stumbling blocks each time.
"I wrote several letters to my wife's parents before marrying her because it was not easy. My wife's mother was against our relationship; she did not want me to marry her daughter, maybe because by then I was from a poor background and had only one green trousers, I always wore every day with my guitar in my hands whenever I went to visit her. Maybe she thought I was not a serious-minded person who did not have a job or a better future, so she kicked against our relationship. But her father would always tell his wife not to judge a man by his looks or background," he narrated his journey.
He further said at a certain time, he almost gave up. But after a while, an aunt visited the family and told the mother not to treat her daughter like her first daughter whom she refused to get married and the lady stayed in the house and had three children because of her mother's action. It was when she saw reason to allow them to get married. Reflecting on the good times, he said his wife first caught his attention when she joined the choir. But because he was already in a relationship at the time, when the lady's father sent for her to Austria, and because she was already leaving the county, they ended the relationship due to the distance. So he decided to date his wife because she seemed more respectful. But little did he know they were going to be in the same high school and the same class at that, so that solidified their relationship even more, and after a year when they graduated in 1992, they later got married on February 19, 1994.
When asked how one determines a respectful partner from a disrespectful partner, he said this is why it is important to date in a relationship before marriage, then one will know. "While growing up before dating my wife, I was dating a lady who used to disrespect me. Whenever I went to visit her, she used to shout and say: 'look at him there, all your friends are bringing money and you are not bringing anything'. It was when I knew she couldn't make a good wife, so I discontinued that relationship," he answered.
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Commenting on the secret to a happy marriage life of over thirty years, he said coming from two diverse backgrounds, it was not easy, a lot of adjustment had to be made. Moreover, they both got married very young, at 24 years of age, which was challenging. But regardless of being the same age, she always took him as the head and never disrespected him but saw him as someone she could look up to. "You can't leave your partner in the fire because you took a vow that says for better and for worse, so when the worse comes, you can't just leave your partner in the fire. You have to stay and work things out because you planned to live together, and everything won't be perfect. There will be seasons where things will become rocky but then there are seasons when things are good. Always communicate with your partner, and forgiveness is key. So to the younger men who want to get married, you must be willing to forgive, be patient-minded and understanding.
