Recently, I was a guest on the exciting Worth Reading Podcast, hosted by Tobi Eyinade and Seyi Adebiyi, where we spoke about my book 'Where is your Wrapper?'. A few days later, there was a book reading at Roving Heights bookstore, Landmark Event Center, Victoria Island, for my latest books 'Demand and Supply' and 'A Tray of Locust Beans'.
The book reading was moderated by the seasoned multimedia journalist, Funmi Unuajefe. There was an engaging discussion after the book reading, and we all had a great time. My heartfelt thanks to all those who showed up for the book reading and for the love and support from well-wishers everywhere. My books are available at Roving Heights bookstores in Lagos and Abuja, and if you order online, they will send the books to you wherever you are. I have decided to share some of the questions I was asked and responses I gave from the podcast and the book reading:
What inspires you to write? Where do you draw your inspiration from?
I write because it gives me joy and satisfaction. I write to speak up, to be heard, to bear witness, to teach and to learn. I draw inspiration from the writing of others, across genres and cultures. I also lean on my past experiences and from what I observe around me. I follow debates and I listen to what young people have to say. Many people send me messages or videos, asking for my opinion on a trending issue. As Maya Angelou used to say, 'Be Present'. I look around me and I shudder. Yet, I choose not to focus exclusively on the danger, hunger and crisis I see. That would be too debilitating. I channel what I see and feel into lessons that can be learnt, hope that can be inspired and results where you might least expect them.
In this age and time when Feminism has many obscene connotations (for example hatred for the other gender, the angry, bitter woman narrative on Twitter), how do you manage to uphold the ethos of what feminism truly stands for?
The Feminist movement did not start on Twitter and it will not die on Twitter. While on the one hand, it is great to have healthy debates on feminism and its impact on society, these conversations should be more informed and nuanced in order not to mislead. To me, Feminism is a global struggle against all forms of patriarchal oppression. Patriarchy controls all the sites of human engagement - economic, political, social, religious, security, technological and cultural processes and institutions. Patriarchy endures because of the power it gives to those who perpetuate it and the agency it deducts from those who resist.
The responsibility of every feminist is to first of all understand what all this means and determine our role in dismantling, deconstructing or at least challenging patriarchal norms and values. If you are challenging the status quo, you will be met with resistance and will be called names, it is nothing new. I know that we cannot achieve the change we seek if we do not address the underlying causes of women's exclusion. Patriarchal mindsets undermine women's progress, and anyone committed to fully addressing this is a Feminist. Those who are afraid of the 'F' word are those who are scared of giving up the power and privileges that patriarchy bestows on them. A Feminist is not a Misandrist (a hater of men) and misandrists are not necessarily Feminists.
What role can men play in ensuring that the goals of gender equality and women's empowerment are met?
Men can and do play critical roles. Men, as the primary beneficiaries of patriarchal power and control, are in a position to educate other men about changing mindsets and doing things differently. My father never made any declarations about being a male feminist, but with everything he said and did, he made it clear that men who thought girls where of little value where stupid. There are men like my husband and many of his colleagues in the human rights and social justice movements who have consistently stated the need for men to get on board, and have served as role models for younger generations of men who need to understand this message in their private and public lives.
I have learnt how important it is to build strategic alliances with men, and I have done this through awareness raising, advocacy, negotiation and providing data. I have worked successfully with male policy-makers, corporate leaders, academics, legislators, religious leaders, traditional rulers and political leaders. It is impossible to seek an end to sexual and gender-based violence, discrimination against women, women's lack of access to decision-making and so on, if we do not have men as allies. For every law we get passed, every policy we get in place and every shift we have in social relations, it is because we have been able to have those conversations with male gate-keepers. It is hard work, but it has to be done. There are many who will change their mind-sets or will be willing to use their platforms in transformative ways, and there are those who will never give an inch. We just have to hope that the men who do understand will get through to those who don't.
All your books have a section dealing with inter-generational issues. How can we improve inter-generational relationships?
We first of all need to acknowledge what the tensions are. These concerns are nothing new, we had the same debates when I was a young feminist activist. Younger women will say things like 'these older women should get out of the way, their time has passed', or 'these older feminists are too conservative'. The older ones will say, 'these young women are lazy and do not want to learn' and the bickering goes back and forth. There is room and space for everyone. Younger women can learn from older women and vice-versa, age is not necessarily synonymous with wisdom and knowledge. I believe we should approach inter-generational issues with the acceptance that what every generation brings to the table is useful and valid. That way we are all enriched and empowered and we can work together towards a shared vision.
Can you describe your writing process? What is your favourite part of being a writer?
My mood mostly determines what or how I write. Sometimes I am upbeat and playful, then there are times I am angry and frustrated and every now and then I want to be sarcastic. Once I have decided what I want to write about, I gather the information I need, or I put down points to develop. The first draft is straight from the heart with little or no filter, then I rework to get a finer cut, but with an eye on simplicity and consistency. Then, there is the fact-checking and final editing.
I love the fact that I can give my mind permission to wander, and sometimes I surprise myself. I write a weekly column, so I do not like to be predictable. I have written about imaginary lunch meetings, dinner parties, school debates, church meetings, political meetings, a lexicon, a mother-daughter conversation, newspaper stand commentary, annual prophecies and so on. I live in one of the most fascinating countries in the world, so there is always something to write about.
There is a lot of concern that our reading culture has suffered in this country. What do you think should be done? How have you encouraged younger readers and writers?
Of course it is cause for concern. We need to invest more in making books available and accessible. I do know though, that in spite of what we see and hear on social media, a lot of young people are taking advantage of the availability of digital technology to read. The majority of my readers online are young people, which means not everyone is obsessed with the latest gossip. We just need to encourage more of this and make sure it is not just something for the wealthy or middle-class kids in the urban areas. The government at Federal and State levels, education authorities, parents, alumni associations, private sector and donor partners need to work together to improve outcomes in this area. Through the Above Whispers Foundation, in 2023, I began to sponsor young female writers at the quarterly Ebedi Writers in Residence Program, Iseyin, Oyo State which is run by Dr Wale Okediran, Secretary-General of the Pan-African Writers Association. We have sponsored four cohorts so far.
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You are thought of as a writer for change. What do you expect readers to take away when they read your books?
I hope people take away a sense of urgency and responsibility. We all have a platform, let us use whatever access we have to make a difference. Change happens in many places and spaces - in the family, community, board room, schools, places of worship, entertainment industry, sporting arenas, workplace, decision-making tables, market place - in any area where there is human interaction, there are people who have a voice they can use.
What advice do you have for young writers and activists
Stay focused, don't be deterred in the face of challenges. You will encounter many seasons that might have an impact on your worldview, but your core values should remain the same, for example - fairness, non-discrimination, empathy, respect and compassion Seek out a good mentor. Read widely, and understand the world from different perspectives and angles. It is okay to disagree but learn how to do so respectfully. Use social media wisely.
Where is Your Wrapper? (2020) Demand and Supply (2023) and A Tray of Locust Beans (2023) are published by Prestige Books.
