They used to be called the derive name of Kidults - but now there are loads of single and working adults still hanging to the family homes' chandeliers! Take Rolake for instance. She has just clocked 30 and, according to her, every time she's in the family home, "My mum sends the cook to tell me whenever food is ready. When I get to the dining room, as requested, there are fried rice (or whatever meal I ordered) and mouth-watering stews to go with it. Even better, there's lovely desert to top it up and wine if I want it. You would think I was living in a posh hotel, but I'm not.
"Instead, I'm at home with my doting parents and home-made meals come as part of the all-inclusive package. When I tell people I'm a 30-year-old woman who still lives at home, they pity me. They sympathised about rising rents and I nod in agreement, explaining that my meagre earnings as an executive assistant in a parastatal makes leaving home anytime soon a financial impossibility. After all, I'm part of a generation who can't get well-paid jobs, can't afford houses, and as a result can't even leave home!
"Only, things are a little more complicated than mat. The truth is that living in the comfortable luxury of my family home, a warm, cheerfully furnished six-bedroom house in an upmarket Lagos suburb - a property way beyond my means as a single woman - means that I have no impetus to leave. Why should I? Where could I live this well, with three meals a day, a laundry service, and full use of the well stocked bar - all completely free? Where is the incentive to strike out on my own?
"A lot of my friends feel the same. We are known as the boomer-angers - the generation who have come back to live off the wealth created by our hardworking parents, now in their 60s. I admit I do feel a bit guilty when I think that my parents had left home by my age. Like most people of their generation, it was unthinkable that they would still be living with their parents in their early 20s, that made perfect sense. But times have changed.
"While sociologists warn of the creation of a stunted generation unprepared for the responsibilities of adult life, I don't see it that way. Why should I leave a home I am happy in, just to conform to social norms, when my parents are still happy for me to live here? In fact, my younger sisters, who are in their 20s, still live at home too. Believe me, I know the dire nature of the alternative. In a foolish bid for independence, I moved out of home for a year in my mid 20s, renting a room in a shared four-bedroom house with three other young people. I hated it. The kitchen sink was permanently over-flowing with dirty dishes (yes, some of them were mine) and the house was always begging to be cleaned. After a year, I'd had quite enough of having to queue for my morning shower as if I was in a hostel.
"Then there were my three housemates. While one of them is still my friend, if I never see the others again, it will be a blessing. When the next rest was due, I happily moved back home. Months after, I was still mad at myself for spending a fortune to live in a dirty house with people I couldn't stand. Of course, there are times when my parents, siblings and I fall out, but because we love each other, things blow over quickly. Occasionally, people will make snide comments about my 'poor parents' and muse on how desperate they must be for me to flee the nest, but this couldn't be further from the truth. My parents have worked hard to build a comfortable family home and are only too happy that I still want to live in it.
"When I moved out in my 20s, my mum was indignant, she took it as a personal insult that I wanted to leave her lovely home and castigated me for frittering away my hard earned money on paying a greedy landlord. Now I'm back home, some other people assume my living situation will make me a social pariah among my peers. How wrong can you get? Like me, most of my friends are still living with their parents. Not only does it make financial sense, but we realise we would be stupid to suffer in discomfort and penury just to prove a point. Other friends say they would still love to be at home given the chance. Even the ones who wear their domestic independence like a badge of honour run home to mummy and daddy at the first sign of a fever or after a break-up. The truth is nothing will ever be as comfortable as a home-cooked mail, followed by watching a cable TV on your parents' sofa, no matter how old you are.
"Unfortunately, not everyone agreed that my set-up is a lifestyle haven. I've been accused of holding myself back and missing out on the freedom of being young and single. And while I admit that living at home means you can't invite a long line of boyfriends back to stay or host wild parties, I can live with that. If I want to sit up drinking all night, I can do it at the home of one of my friends who rents. Best of all, after a weekend of partying, I can always return to a warm, clean house.
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It's really the best of both worlds. Meanwhile, I'm not expected to contribute to the running of the house, financial or otherwise.
"Once in a while, I become conscious that I'm not pulling my weight. I live by my parents' rules, work hard and try to make them proud, I'm also an enthusiastic cook and make a family meal at least once a week with the help of the cook. My parents have also rebelled on occasion, but that doesn't change anything. After years of living together, we're stuck in our ways, regardless of rights or wrongs.
Am I spoilt? Quite possibly. Cosseted from the harsh realities of the world? Almost certainly. Living in a state of suspended adolescence? All of these things may be true but the thought of being pampered, thanks to Bank Mum and Dad is bliss!
