...Write your will while alive -Anambra monarch tasks men
...I was not informed of the death of my husband until they took over our properties -Widow
...Traditional rulers should report perpetrators of harmful widowhood practices to the police -CLO
...I drank water used to clean my husband's body to prove my innocence in his death -Pained widow
By Anayo Okoli, Vincent Ujumadu, Chidi Nkwopara, Chinonso Alozie, Steve Oko, Ugochukwu Alaribe, Chimaobi Nwaiwu & Nwabueze Okonkwo
DESPITE the efforts by some states by way of enacting laws, and advocacy actions of some Non-Governmental Organizations to stop harmful widowhood practices, the ugly practices still persist in many Igbo communities.
Families of deceased men are usually behind this against the widow, thereby subjecting mourning widows to additional agonies.
Such ill treatments come mainly in the form of burial disturbing rites for the late husband and mourning rituals; denial of inheritance of her husband's property, conditions for retaining the husband's name, and her expected comportment in the community after the burial.
Recently, in Anambra State, precisely in Umuokwara kindred, Achina community, Aguata Council Area, a widow, Mrs. Chinelo Aghaji was said to have been excluded by her late husband's family from being part of the burial of her husband. Angered by the said action, she reported the matter to Anambra State Ministry of Women and Social Welfare which then intervened and warned the family against such action.
Although SEV is not conversant with the reason the family took the decision, it was learned that upon the death of the man the family also allegedly forcefully ejected the widow out of the husband's house and also took away her two children.
Anambra State Government reacts
The Anambra State Government through the Ministry of Women and Social Welfare which has a record of successful intervention and resolution of such matters in many families, on receipt of a complaint from the widow, issued a warning to the family and cautioned the siblings against excluding the widow in the burial ceremonies of her husband. The Commissioner, Mrs. Ify Obinabo, warned the family of severe consequences if they disobeyed the directive and continued to maltreat the widow.
Even in the obituary poster announcing the death and burial arrangement, the deceased was described as a son, brother, father, uncle, and in-law. There is no mention of him as a husband, a clear indication that the widow was not considered a member of the family.
In her reaction, the commissioner urged the community, the President General, and local government transition committee chairman to rally around the widow and offer her the necessary support needed to bury her husband. She warned that anyone who would stand in the way of the state government by excluding the widow from the burial of her late husband would face the law.
'My horrible experience in the hands of my husband's siblings'
A widow, Mrs. Francisca Nwankwo narrated her experience after the death of her husband thus: "My late husband, Nnamdi, and I were married for 22 years with five children. My husband has a thriving business in Lagos where we live and has branches in Onitsha and Aba.
"On this fateful day, after we came back from early morning church service, he decided to travel home by road and drove himself. Between Benin City and Agbor, he was involved in an accident and died.
"His relatives were the first to know about the incident and they took the body to a mortuary in the East close to our hometown. Rather than inform me and my children immediately, they went to our village home and broke the doors of our house to look for what I did not understand.
"Two of them rushed to his shop in Idumota and carried all the goods away. When I couldn't hear from my husband and got in touch with one of his brothers, he told me to relax and that it could be that my husband's phone had issues. It was the same person who came to Lagos and my husband's shop first without coming to our house.
"After they had satisfied themselves, they came to the house and I was shaking like a butterfly when I saw them because I knew something had gone wrong. It was then that my husband's elder brother told me that there was nothing the eye could see and shed blood. I fainted!
"I am a teacher so I didn't know much about my husband's business, although my husband was always complaining about the behavior of his brothers towards him.
"You can therefore imagine my state of mind when his brothers came and demanded every document concerning his business. That was the day I knew what I was going to face in the family.
"One of them took over my husband's shop, another had occupied our village house and none of them cares to know how the children's school fees are paid".
I drank water used to clean my dead husband's face--Widow
A pained widow said: "If there is anything that has sadly cast a bad image for Ndigbo, it is the persisting and amorphous harmful widowhood practices in Igbo land".
Augustina, as she simply wants to be addressed, narrates to SEV, amidst occasional sobs, her ugly plight: "Please, do me a singular favour, as you go about your assignment. I would not like my name to be in print. I have already had more than my fair share of punishment, since I lost my husband, particularly from his siblings.
"Your question has evoked a sad reminder of what my children and I, passed through when I lost my dear husband, who I still refer to as, a brother and friend.
"Honestly, I had a very pleasant and enviable married life with my husband until he died a few years ago. We had five lovely, under-aged children before he passed on to eternal glory. I must also say that we worked very hard to earn our living.
"Truth is that we never confined our legitimate earnings to our immediate family. We extended whatever we had, to our mutual siblings. However, it is now very clear to me that whatever a man does to his girlfriend's children, they will never take him as their father.
"I was shocked beyond description when his siblings accused me of killing my husband. That was the first salvo fired by his immediate family members. It sounded strange to me, but they persisted in it.
"I can't tell how or why they came to such a despicable conclusion. I cry bitterly, each time I remember this allegation. How could I have killed somebody that loved me with passion? If there is anything like reincarnation, I will still love to marry the man again.
"I was still trying to wriggle out of the false allegation, when they requested under palpable threat, to be given all relevant papers for all the estates we acquired over time. I obliged. The only document I didn't give them during that visit was the one I couldn't immediately locate.
"Thereafter, they came for the cars, shops, house furniture, etc. It was at this point that I got to know what the future held for the children and me, after the burial.
"On the burial day, my late husband's siblings invited me into the room where he was laid in state and asked me to drink some quantity of the water they used in wiping his face, as a proof of my innocence. Bad as it was hygienically, I did.
"I was compelled to completely shave my hair by the daughters of the community, Ndi Mgboto. I was also compelled to abandon my bed and sit on a mat for not less than a week. I never had the luxury of having a bath within this period, until after the burial.
"With the burial over, my late husband's siblings never returned the documents, cars, and all other things they forcefully took away from me. They have also not cared to take any interest in the welfare of my children till date. I do not know what else I can call callousness, wickedness, and harmful widowhood practice.
"This is my sad story. This is where the children and I have found ourselves. This is how we have been alienated from the larger family and by extension, the village. It is most baffling that nobody found it worthwhile to intervene and redress the ills done against us. I leave the rest to God".
Write your will while alive -Anambra monarch tasks men -Obosi monarch
The traditional ruler of Obosi Kingdom, His Majesty, Igwe Chidubem Iweka (Eze Iweka III), vehemently condemned harmful practices against windows. He said from his observation, that the harmful practices are mostly meted out to widows who are either childless, those who don't have male children, or the illiterate ones.
Igwe Iweka said he had treated many such cases in his palace where the relations of late husbands, particularly those who are affluent, usually like to chase away the widows in an unlawful manner to take over their husbands' wealth. The monarch stated that these harmful practices are more pronounced when there is no written wills to specify who owns what in the family, and therefore urged husbands to always write their Wills when they are still alive to avoid much struggle for their properties between their relations and their widows.
The monarch also urged the widows to always be bold enough to consult lawyers, traditional rulers, police, or the state Ministry of Women Affairs and Social Development whenever their rights are being trampled upon, adding that once they do that, their fundamental human rights and interests would always be protected.
The monarch also referenced the Supreme Court judgment which gave female children the right to partake in the sharing of their fathers' properties, whether they are married or not.
Eze Iweka disclosed that he passed the judgment in his palace notice board for a long time for people to read and understand that female children equally have rights over their fathers' properties.
He said he had equally treated a case in his palace where a man's building was sold for N100 million and only the male children shared the money among themselves, but a female child protested against her exclusion from partaking and brought the matter to the palace. The cabinet members eventually ruled in her favour and ensured that she got something out of the proceeds but not equal share.
Women should relate well with their husband's people to enjoy their care -IWA
In her reaction the National President of Igbo Women Assembly, IWA, Lolo Nneka Chimezie, however, urged women to try and relate well with their husbands' family and relations when their husbands are alive to enjoy their protection in the event of the man's death.
Lolo Chimezie said it was not enough for a widow to complain "when the husband dies while she was never relating well with his people when he was alive".
She disclosed that the legal department of the Igbo women's body is currently reviewing some Igbo traditions and laws to drop the obsolete ones.
"We have our legal department which is holistically looking into Igbo customs, traditions and laws. We want to know those we will advise to be abolished and those that should be sustained.
"Protecting widows' rights is one of our areas of interest. We want to know what must be done to protect widows in Igbo land against barbaric and obnoxious widowhood practices", she stated.
The IWA President who said the Assembly would no longer tolerate any discriminatory or punitive treatment against widows in any part of Igbo land, however, noted that women should not shy away from their responsibilities in the family they are married to.
"We also want to know what a woman should do while her husband is alive to avoid ill-treatment by his people when he is no more. It is a two-way thing. I have seen widows whose husbands' relations rallied behind when the man died and made sure they didn't lack anything.
"There are some women who chase away their husbands' relations and only look after their people. If their husbands die they start shouting for help.
"I am not sure there is a married woman who enjoys a cordial relationship with her husband's people when he is alive that his relations will turn around to maltreat her when he dies.
"So, we don't want to look at this matter from one side because even the brothers-in-law have rights. A married woman also has responsibilities to her husband's people. We will holistically look at the whole thing and know how to educate women to be more caring and friendly to the people where she is married to.
"It is not fair if a woman gets married and she will start discriminating against her husband's people. Such a woman can be treated anyhow if the man dies. So, it is not enough to draw a conclusion from one side. We don't just want to concentrate on widows' rights alone; the husband's people also have their rights. We need to balance the equation", Chimezie said.
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Traditional rulers should report perpetrators to Police -CLO
Speaking to the matter, the Civil Liberties Organization, CLO, called on the traditional rulers to hand over perpetrators of such ill widowhood practices to the police for prosecution. The rights group also called for sanctions against traditional rulers or communities, who condone such practices.
Chairman, CLO, Aba Unit, Prof. Charles Chinekezi, condemned the practice, saying it is a grave infringement of fundamental human rights.
"It is satanic and barbaric for anybody to maltreat a widow, especially depriving her of her late husband's properties or forcing her to drink the water used to bathe the corpse of her late husband. Sometimes, you even hear about widows being mistreated because they refused to marry their late husband's brothers or have sex with them. It is not compulsory that a widow must marry her late husband's brother or other relatives.
"We must do away with such cultures. This is barbaric and should not be witnessed in modern society. It is sheer cruelty and anyone identified with such practices should be arrested, prosecuted, and jailed without the option of a fine. It is not part of Igbo culture, but just the evil imagination of some people to intimidate widows. No family or community should condone such practice under any guise", Chinekezi submitted.
Similarly, another group, Onurube, has called for training for traditional rulers and president Generals of communities on relevant laws against harmful widowhood practices. The convener of Onurube, Marjorie Ezihe said: "There is need for a holistic framework that includes the government playing its role by ensuring that laws of the state are implemented when these infractions occur."
"There should be a system where traditional rulers will be given training on relevant laws to deal with issues that occur at the local level in their communities as regards harmful widowhood practices.
"President Generals, village heads, and all of that, they should be aware and the laws that are at the local level should be harmonized with what exists in the state. There is a need to have a stiffer punishment for this act."
"The states must be in the lead, speak up, and see that the laws are implemented and people should not be quick in going to self-help. And the police should also be sensitized and informed on relevant ways people can seek redress".
Harmful widowhood practices can only be checked if men properly document their assets while alive
In the opinion of Prince Christopher Muo, of Amuro Okigwe, Imo State, the continued manifestation of harmful widowhood practices in any Igbo community is an indicator that the primitive struggle for the acquisition of wealth thrives unabated.
Prince Mou, a lawyer said: "The only check to such practice is the proper documentation of assets by men while alive and vesting legal authority in their wives to manage their estate in trust for the children of the marriage.
"Most traditional rulers are helpless in such matters as they usually become aware of the truth after the harm has been done by relatives of the dead man".
