Ayo Arowolo spent some moment with pa Yekini Oyekanmi who turned 100 today and asked the elder statesman to share the lessons life has taught him as he reaches the 10th floor of his life.
In this article he captures the wisdom tips shared by elder Oyekanmi . Please enjoy.
For reasons I could not immediately explain from 2017 or thereabout, I noticed that I started spending more time with two sets of individuals: the first set are some of my friends who had tasted the best life could offer. But for some reasons too complex to explain, they found themselves on the floor.
The second are individuals who are far older than me but I have maintained a steady relationship with some for over 20 years. Sitting with these sets of people has broadened my life, and has given me a better perspective of life.
I usually ask them the same set of questions: what would you do differently if you were to start your life all over? My observation during some of these conversations, about 40 of which were published in THISDAY under my column then called THISDAY LIFE LESSONS, nothing can be worse for an individual to get to the end of his life only to discover he had not really touched the original reason God put him here.
Myles Munroe of Blessed Memory once said that there is something that is worse than death: living a life without purpose.
Yet, that is the interpretation of the quotation I got from a powerful book by Anthony De Mellow years ago, which I extracted and put in my notes on impactful quotations. According to De Mellow: "Most people, even though they don't know it are asleep. They are born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep, without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing we call human existence."
Let me share few notes from my jotters during my silent conversations with some of my two sets of friends.
Case 1: It has to do with an individual I was very close to from 1989, when I started my journalism career. He was chairman of a leading indigenous company quoted on the Nigerian Stock Exchange, and was used as a model other people should emulate.
Every Friday in his magnificent house in Gbagada, Lagos, friends and associates used to gather to have a taste of good life with exotic wines all arranged in his personal bar. I used to visit regularly.
We were so close that any time I stayed late with him, he would give me a ride in his Mercedes Benz 600 SL to my place in a suburb of Lagos called Mafoluku.
But suddenly without notice, life started upside down. His company was taken over by the bank for its inability to pay its accumulated debts.
Eventually, his company was delisted from the Nigerian Stock Exchange. Things got so bad for my friend that he attempted to commit suicide four times, but he could not accomplish his objective. He simply disappeared from the radar. But through a mutual friend, I was able to locate him in a one-bedroom apartment he was staying, which interestingly was owned by his account officer in one of the company banks. I was shocked to see how things had gone with him.
He was happy to see me. He complained that none of his friends (many of who I knew) had ever bothered to find out anything about him. In the course of our first conversation, he shared what he called the lessons of life, about 8 of them.
A few years after my first visit, when I went back to see him, his condition had got worse and he had developed stroke, which made it impossible to speak with me. Here is one of the outstanding life lessons he shared with me:
"Nothing is permanent. When I was the CEO, it never occurred to me that a time would come when I would not be able to do anything I felt like doing. I was hit by stroke some two years ago and with it all the dreams I had carried in my head are becoming a mirage.
"I have many things I want to do; many dreams I want to accomplish but I do not have the energy and the health to make any of them happen. The lesson is this: take every opportunity to make things happen when you have the energy; you cannot guarantee you will be able to keep it forever. Nothing is permanent."
Case 2. The Second experience had to do with another friend (a mentor actually) CEO of a multinational company also listed on the floor of The Nigerian Stock Exchange. I was also a CEO of a financial newspaper then.
Once a month, we used to meet in his office for mentoring sessions. A month after such a visit, he was given an award on integrity. Surprisingly and without warning, he also started to encounter the storm of life.
He was accused of some underhand dealing and he was eventually removed from his position and he also faded out of the public scene. Around 2018 when I started the Life Lessons project, I was able to locate him to his abode. Good enough his own situation was not as that of my other friend.
In my conversation with him, he told me the secret responsible for his not feeling the downturn too much was because he and his wife had built some comfort zone diligently, and that provided a buffer when things went wrong. Just like my other friend, almost all the people who used to throng to his office and house had abandoned him.
Here is one of the life lessons he shared with me:
"I learnt my purest lessons in the valley. Sometimes the greatest lessons are learnt in the valley... , and this period has helped me to know who truly I am and what is valuable to me."
Case 3: Even though I got to meet the third person one-on-one around 2018, he was a public figure that was in the consciousness of most Nigerians because of the National Initiative he helped the country to establish then as a colonel in the Army.
He was a role model to even his colleagues in the Army. Then again, without warning, life started to deal with him a bad hand. He was accused of corruptly enriching himself, publicly tried by the Buhari administration and was eventually thrown into jail and all he had ever worked for as a civil servant was gone with that episode.
I had the privilege of interviewing him for my life lessons column in 2018. He was still visibly bitter. He became close my friend, Tim Akano, the CEO of New Horizons System Solution and I.
We talk in the dead of night. He is now 86. About two years ago, I asked him if he could share his experience in prison with me. He agreed and we published the moving story he shared with me in two parts in THISDAY. Here is an excerpt from the notes he sent to me:
"God will never leave you nor forsake you, no matter the circumstances. It is easy for a guilty person to acclimatise to prison, a place where punishment is served for those who have been defeated, rejected, and unwanted in society for their immoral actions.
"Forget the fancy 'correctional institution' title. It is simply a punishment home. I was falsely accused, tried and jailed. Therefore, finding myself in a place where I have no reason to be in the first place was challenging.
"After many sleepless nights, pondering how an innocent man like me can survive in a jailhouse, the Lord revealed to me His promises on July 4, 1984.
He led me to the Bible verses that read: "I will not fail you nor forsake you."
"Hence, we can confidently say, the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid, what can man do to me?"
To date, these verses have proven true over and over again, in every situation in which I find myself. I encourage you to print these words boldly in your heart and translate them into every step that you take. Everything automatically assumes a different shape before you."
Why I jumped at an opportunity to interview an elder who will hit the floor of life in a few days.
A couple of weeks back, Mr. Remi Babalola, my Motivator-in-Chief, former Minister of State for Finance and former Board Chairman of FirstBank Holdings, informed me that he and a couple of friends would be celebrating with the father of one of his close friends, Rotimi Oyekanmi, who will be turning 100 by December 4, 2024.
He wanted to know if I could get them to place adverts in THISDAY and Punch to celebrate him. Beyond assisting to get them placements in both newspapers which were gracious enough to give him deep discount, I was interested in speaking with the celebrant. I discussed this with him and he shared my request with Rotimi, who eventually got me to interview his father. I was blown away by the simplicity of the man and his closeness to his son, Rotimi.
The summary of my encounter with him is this. So on that day, I took my multimedia team with me and we stormed the residence of Pa Oyekanmi in Surulere, Lagos. I was blown away with the loads of wisdom tips oozing out of this elderly man whose daily prayer since the beginning of the year has been that God should spare his life to celebrate his 100th birthday.
When I asked him to share with me the most important lesson life has taught him, here is his response:
"If many people know what I now know in the 10th floor of life, they would not bother about 90% of what is engaging their time at this young age.
According to him, "When you are old, your toys in the form of cars and other luxuries will not count. It is the people whose lives you have touched one way or the other that will bring joy at old age.
"I have also discovered that the secret to healthy, long life is to live a simple life without holding malice against anyone, no matter their offences."
I suggest you take time to read the rest of the interviews for the wisdom tips from the wisdom bank of Pa Oyekanmi.
Alhaji (Amb.) Yekini Ayinde Oyekanmi, born December 4, 1924, in Abeokuta, Ogun State, embodies a legacy of service, resilience, and devotion.
Raised in Lagos by his maternal grandfather, he was immersed in both secular and Islamic education, a foundation that shaped his life's journey.
Alhaji Oyekanmi's career, which began humbly in printing before transitioning to accounting, led him to distinguished roles, including a remarkable 25-year tenure at the Organisation of African Unity (OAU) now the African Union (AU).
His steadfast character, charitable spirit, and unshakable faith have left an indelible impact on all who know him.
A quiet philanthropist and dedicated member of the Ansar-ud-deen Society, he continues to inspire his large family and community with a life dedicated to service and integrity.
Alhaji Oyekanmi's career is a testament to perseverance and self-improvement. Beginning as an Account Clerk at Naraguta Tin Mines Ltd, he invested in his education and worked diligently, rising to the role of Accountant.
His dedication led him to pursue further studies, and in 1957, he earned recognition as an Associate of Industrial and Commercial Accountants, in London, United Kingdom.
In 1961, Alhaji Oyekanmi joined Nigeria Embel Tin Smelting Company Ltd as an Assistant Accountant. Shortly after, he transitioned to the Commission for Technical Cooperation in Africa (CCTA) as an Assistant Administrative Officer/Assistant Accountant. His hard work and ethical approach led to his promotion as Chief Accountant, demonstrating his growing expertise and commitment to excellence.
When the Organisation of African Unity (OAU) was formed in 1966, it was merged with the CCTA, Alhaji Oyekanmi was one of the few staff absorbed into the OAU. He took on various roles at the OAU, including Finance Officer, Chief Finance Officer, and eventually, Head of Budget Control.
In 1969, he was transferred to the OAU Headquarters, in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, where he oversaw critical financial functions, including budget control for council meetings of Ministers and Heads of State.
He retired in 1991 as Chief Inspector, a respected leader in his field, excellent professional, and distinguished diplomat.
Spending a day with Alhaji Oyekanmi is a journey through the values of integrity, discipline, and faith.
When we asked him to share the lessons life has taught him, he was able to regale us with value-driven lessons weaved into reminiscences covering his obviously adventurous moments of his youthful years, his climb on the career ladder, his encounters in relationship building with different shades of personalities.
The exciting aspect of the interview was the incredible ability of the elder to recollect events of his life even of his early days.
Baba's UK Football Club is Manchester United even though in recent times, result of their performance has been disappointing, with the recent appointment of a new Manager, there will be improvement.
Please enjoy the rest of the lessons shared by Alhaji Oyekanmi.
Lesson1: Honesty
Alhaji Oyekanmi's value of honesty. He is known for his unwavering honesty recounting a memorable experience.
"After the civil war, someone informed me that properties previously owned by Igbo families were being sold. A contact introduced me to a lawyer named Ayeola, and we met to discuss a property on Aturase Street, Surulere.
At that time, I had a fixed deposit with UBA on 12/14, Broad Street, Lagos. So I went to the bank to withdraw the funds. Despite the bank staff cautioning me about the embedded interest loss, I insisted, as I was determined to buy the house. The lawyer's representative accompanied me to the bank, and together, we collected the money and delivered it to him.
However, by the following Monday, I decided to verify the status of the property. I visited the Lands Office, where a contact said the property had to be published for three months on gazzette to ensure no disputes, during which time the rightful owner, who lived in Eastern Nigeria, was alerted and travelled to Lagos. That led us to court, and eventually, the lawyer was sentenced to prison for the scam. That incident has remained a powerful lesson in honesty and vigilance, the only significant fraudulent experience I have encountered.
Lesson 2: Maintaining a High Standard of Integrity
"I am known for my integrity, particularly in my community and at the mosque. People know that if I commit to something, I follow through--if I say "yes," it's a genuine "yes," and if I say "no," it's a clear "no."
I ensure that my dues are paid on time, and I make a point never to overstep my boundaries or take myself to places where I don't belong. I stay within my limits. This commitment to integrity has defined my reputation and interactions throughout my life.
Lesson 3: Transparency and Accountability
Transparency and accountability have been central to my career. While working in Ethiopia as the Head of Budget and Accounts, I was responsible for large sums of money, especially during international meetings involving the Council of Ministers or Heads of State.
Those funds covered payments for translators, secretaries, and other support staff across English, Arabic, Portuguese, and French languages. Throughout that period, I managed the finances with utmost care, never misplacing a single penny.
There was only one instance during a trip to Somalia when I accidentally misplaced some cash. A friend travelling with me noticed and alerted me. Although I had lost a small amount by the time I returned to Ethiopia, I personally ensured it was reimbursed. This dedication to transparency and accountability has shaped my reputation and trustworthiness in my career.
Lesson 4: Discipline
Discipline is a principle I hold in high regard, both for myself and for those around me. I have high expectations and don't tolerate indolence. When I assign a task, I expect it to be completed thoroughly and to my specifications, not done halfway or differently than instructed. This approach has helped to ensure efficiency and quality in all my endeavours; it's a standard I encourage others to adopt.
Lesson 5: Consistency
"Consistency defines my approach to both life and work. Once I set my mind on something, I commit fully and see it through, no matter the challenges. I don't allow obstacles to hinder my progress or deter me from my goals. This persistence has been key to my achievements, and is a principle I adhere to in all my endeavours."
One of such was a lesson Pa Oyekanmi learnt from the gifts from one of his expatriate bosses in the CCTA on the importance of preparation before execution, which was summarised as "PLAN AHEAD".
Lesson 6: Humility
Humility is a core value in my life. I approach all situations and interactions with modesty, valuing others' perspectives and contributions. This humility has allowed me to build meaningful relationships, learn continuously, and remain grounded regardless of my achievements. Baba's humility is legendary and infectious to all. He shares generously with mighty and low without discrimination.
Lesson 7: DAILY RITUAL
I understand that what you do consistently every day ultimately becomes a habit that eventually shapes you and what you become in life. I have daily rituals I have observed with consistency over the years.
Faith, absolute trust in the capacity of Allah to control the affairs of all men with good intentions all the time even though we sometimes can't flow with his acts. Faith is the foundation of my life.
Each morning, I dedicate time to prayer, beginning my day from 3:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m. in spiritual reflection. I also maintain the practice of fasting every Monday and Thursday also 13th, 14th and 15th of every Islamic month. This devotion grounds me, offering spiritual strength, guidance, and purpose in all that I do.
I have also built into my daily routine a strict regimen of exercises which could include brisk walk around the street in my area.
Bonus lesson: Focus on building friends, relationships, and not accumulating material things.
"I have been young and now I am old, I can tell you for free that most of what we focus on in the prime of our lives would not make sense at the time you are getting ready to depart.
"Unfortunately, many people don't realise that the most important pursuit in life is not that of material things. If many people know what I now know on the 10th floor of life, they would not bother about 90% of what is engaging their time at this young age.
"When you are old, your toys in the form of cars and other luxuries will not count. It is the people whose lives you have touched one way or the other that will bring joy at old age. I have also discovered that the secret to healthy, long life is to live a simple life without holding malice against anyone, no matter their offences."
Personal Observation
Throughout about three-hour interview, Babalola, Pa Oyekanmi's son, Rotimi, and few individuals who I learnt are Baba's friends were already cheering him up.
Babalola shared his admiration for Alhaji, whom he got close to about a few years ago. According to Babalola, despite his age, Alhaji remains highly informed about current events in Nigeria and around the world, often discussing political developments with insight.
His commitment to fasting and praying has continued, and when Remi suggested he consult his doctor about fasting, Alhaji replied that his doctor had not advised him to stop.
Remi admires Alhaji's simplicity and authenticity, recalling how, at his 99th birthday, Alhaji expressed gratitude to God for his life and prayed for just one more year--a sentiment that deeply touched Remi, who now prays for him daily.
The former Minister of State for Finance and former Board Chairman of FirstBank Holdings also noted that Alhaji's life is focused on impact rather than wealth. During a prayer gathering at his home, it was revealed that Alhaji had made donations (not his children) as initially assumed.
His generosity extends to supporting educational institutions, something uncommon for people of his age. Remi learned a lot from Alhaji's approach to discussions, where he listens attentively and shares his thoughts only when the conversation has settled, often emphasising the importance of kindness.
Akeem Kazeem, Papa's close friend, also shared that "I got to know Baba about 20 years ago, and it's as if we've known each other for a lifetime. We're incredibly fond of each other; he's humble, generous, and kind, and he values honesty deeply.
He gets upset when he senses any dishonesty or trickery. He even buys clothes for both of us. When people call me Baba's friend, I feel uncomfortable--I'd much rather be called Baba's son because the love we share is like family. I don't know why I deserve such love from him, but I thank God for his life every day."
What actually caught my curiosity was the calibre of people who contributed money to sponsor the adverts in honour of Baba Oyekanmi. It is a celebration of the unsung hero when a dozen of silent high-achievers come together to congratulate and appreciate the rare gift of life God has given Alhaji Yekini Ayinde Oyekanmi, the father of their friend and brother, Mr. Rotimi Oyekanmi, for reaching the 100 years on planet earth.
Without a doubt, you need these silent yet genuinely loving people like these in your corner; some of them are listed as follows:
SOME OF PA OYEKANMI'S WELL-WISHERS
· Prof. Doyin Salami - Former Chief Economic Adviser to the President
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· Emmanuel Ikazoboh - Former Director-General, Securities and Exchange Commission
· Dayo Adeola - Founder of Touchdown Travels Limited
· Tunde Hassan-Odukale - Former Chairman, First Bank of Nigeria and Managing of Leadway Assurance Limited
· Timothy Oguntayo - Former Managing Director, Skye Bank
· Boye Olusanya - Current Managing Director of Flourmills Plc
· Ayodeji Akinmade - Chairman Workplace Plus Ltd, the international virtual offices group
· Wale Akoni - Agba SANand Managing Partner, Babalakin & Co
· Remi Babalola - Former Minister of State, Finance and Former Board Chairman, FirstBank Holdings Plc.
WHAT ADVICE HAVE YOU EVER RECEIVED AND FROM WHO?
A significant piece of advice came when I was hesitant about my transfer to the OAU Headquarters, in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.
I was uncertain about the move, but my brother encouraged me to embrace the opportunity, reminding me that I didn't know what God had in store for me there. Trusting his guidance, I made the decision to go, leaving my wife and children behind.
Tragically, shortly after my arrival in Ethiopia, my wife passed away in February 1970. I was unable to attend her burial due to the Islamic tradition requiring immediate interment.
Despite that profound loss, I focused on my new role. Within three months, following the departure of the then Chief Accountant, I stepped into that position myself. That initial advice proved pivotal in my life, leading me to success in my career.
Additionally, my Arabic teacher impacted another valuable lesson: that every Muslim is a brother or sister, and we should share what we have with others. This principle of community and generosity continues to guide my interactions and relationships.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO DIFFERENTLY IF YOU WERE TO START LIFE ALL OVER AGAIN?
If I had the chance to start life all over again, I would focus on serving God even more diligently. While I strive to do my best in my spiritual journey now, I believe there is always room for deeper commitment.
God is the priority in my life, and in all my endeavours, I would continue to ensure that my actions are grounded in prayer and devotion. My faith would guide me, influencing every decision and path I choose.
SECRETS OF GOOD HEALTH
If you look back sir, what do you believe has been the most important factor in maintaining your physical and mental well-being?
"Looking back, I believe the most important visible factors in maintaining my physical and mental well-being are my commitment to a balanced diet, adequate sleep, regular exercise, and fasting. Eating well provides my body with the necessary nutrients to function optimally.
"Sufficient sleep restores my energy and sharpens my mind. Regular exercise keeps me physically active and enhances my overall health.
"Additionally, fasting contributes to my spiritual well-being, offering a sense of discipline and purpose."
But there are other unseen habits that have contributed ultimately to good old age. One of them is the habit of not holding bitterness against anybody. If you offend me, I will tell you straight and let it go after you have explained.
Another one is the habit of not allowing worries to enter my thought. I have been young and now old; I can confirm that most of the things we worried about never came to pass.
The most intelligent thing to do is to hand over everything to God, believing that everything would work out together for your good, as they always do.
Another thing that has helped me greatly is living a simple life. I have come to the realisation after over 90 years on earth that most of the things we run after hold no tangible values at the end of the day
.Running after reputation, acquiring more cars, building more houses, competing to get attention are all ephemerals. They won't matter at the end of the day.
What counts is how your life has impacted others. We brought nothing to this world, and we shall depart with nothing other than our character, good or bad.
In fact, after observing this tendency of people to run after possessions for years, I have come up with this statement: "The only thing that walks back from the grave with the mourners and refuses to be buried is the character of a man, negative or positive. What a man is is what survives him, and that makes a lasting difference. How I wished our youth could understand this and calm down.
Together, these habits have been vital in promoting a healthy and fulfilling life.
WHAT HEALTH ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO SOMEONE IN THEIR 20s/30s? BASED ON YOUR EXPERIENCE?
Based on my experience, I would advise individuals in their 20s and 30s to prioritise a healthy diet and regular exercise. Eating well provides essential nutrients that support overall health and energy levels, while exercise helps maintain physical fitness and mental clarity.
Developing these habits early on can lay a strong foundation for long-term wellbeing, enabling them to lead vibrant and active lives. Then of course, keep your spirit free of filth: bitterness, offence, envy and jealousy. They are injurious to your wellbeing.
