Nigeria: If Children Are Truly a Blessing From God, Why Do We Blame the Childless?

In Nigeria and many parts of the world, we often say, "Children are a blessing from God." This belief is echoed from pulpits to naming ceremonies, during family prayers, and at traditional celebrations. It's a statement rooted in faith and hope. Yet, there is a striking contradiction: while we proclaim that children come from God, we also blame, shame, and stigmatize couples Who are struggling to conceive.

This contradiction is not only unkind; it's deeply harmful.

If we truly believe that children are divine gifts, then how can we justify treating people as less than, incomplete, or cursed because they haven't received that gift yet? How can we call God the giver of life, and then turn around to mock, isolate, or replace women who haven't conceived?

In our society, women are often the first and only ones blamed when conception is delayed. They are mocked, pressured, and sometimes even threatened with divorce or replacement. Meanwhile, the man in the equation is rarely questioned, tested, or held to the same standard. This reflects a dangerous cultural bias that has no basis in medical fact. Fertility issues affect men just as much as women; globally, male factor infertility accounts for up to 50% of cases.

But even more concerning than the medical misunderstanding is the spiritual hypocrisy. If children are truly God-given, then it stands to reason that not having a child is not a punishment, a sign of sin, or a reason to mistreat someone. It is a deeply personal journey that may require time, support, medical intervention, or alternative paths to parenthood. What it does not require is judgment.

We cannot hold tightly to our religious beliefs while also weaponizing them against people who are already in pain.

To couples still waiting: Your worth is not defined by your ability to conceive. You are not forgotten. You are not failures. And you do not owe anyone an explanation for your timeline.

To families and faith communities: Let us lead with compassion. Let us be mindful of our words and actions. Stop asking, "When will you have a baby?" and start asking, "How can I support you?"

Let this be the year we live what we preach.

Children are indeed a blessing from God. And if we truly believe that, then our words and actions should reflect the same grace, compassion, and humility that our faith teaches.

Ola Taiwo is a Certified Fertility Health Coach/Host , Fertility Conversation Podcast

Read the original article on Vanguard.