First Lady Jeannette Kagame encouraged men and women to demonstrate equal responsibilities in parenting, and not push their children down the path they think they should pursue, but rather pull them by being exemplary.
She was speaking at Young Leaders Prayer Breakfast, on August 13, an event that aims at instilling good values in leadership, bringing together leaders from different spheres of the country.
Organised by Rwanda Leaders Fellowship (RLF), the fellowship themed "Young Leaders and Parenting Today" brought together young people in government, the private sector, and civil society to discuss how to navigate parenting amidst other responsibilities.
"I suspect that you never really know the strength that gets you through juggling all that is required of you; you just do, because you must," the First Lady told participants, adding that they might even question their choices on the outcomes if things were done differently.
"We draw strength from each other's candid, honest and brave sharing of our own experiences navigating through parenting, without a 'mode d'emploi' [a guiding book]."
She drew attention to the drastic damage that absent fathers do to their homes and children, and asked them "What if women and men, both decided that the bar, the streets, others' homes, were more worthy of their presence and time, than the children who look to them for the guidance and love they need to develop healthily?"
Consequently, reflecting on how the world would be if it were only made of poisonous habits, depression, low self-esteem, trauma, and other problems linked, in psychology, to absent parents.
"Today, we revoke such a world, through prayer, and by following our national values and choices, while also acquiring enriching parenting knowledge," she noted.
The First Lady also reminded parents to not be the force looming behind their children, pushing them down the path they believe they should pursue, rather, be a pulling force into the fate they desire for them, by achieving this fate themselves.
"If you want success for your children, endeavour to be successful yourself. Show them how attractive what you desire for them actually is."
The fellowship also featured a panel discussion that reflected on different mistakes parents make by not being present in their children's life journey, starting at an early age, and how to go about making time out of their busy schedules to make that happen.
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Ivan Twagirageshema, Deputy CEO of Rwanda Mining, Petroleum, Gas Board (RMB) and guest preacher, said parents have a wide range of responsibilities in shaping their children at a young age and paving a way towards a great future.
"It involves disciplining them with right moral values of humility, integrity, respect, among others...in addition, parents should create an enabling environment by showing the right friendships and knowing their friends' parents," he said referring to Psalms 127:4-5, Proverbs 29:15 and Proverbs 22:6.
He urged them to go beyond paying school fees and teach their children about the wisdom and ways of life because these cannot be taught in schools.
Rwanda Leaders Fellowship was started in 1995 to pray for the leadership of Rwanda and for the guidance of godly values in their day-to-day decisions. It also hosts an annual event named National Prayer Breakfast that convenes leaders to celebrate the country's achievements in the past year and reflect and pray over national goals in the year ahead.
