On Sunday April 7, Rwandans and their friends around the world, and the international community commemorated the genocide against the Tutsi in 1994.
It is 30 years since it happened, but at each remembrance, the memory is still fresh, the events of that time raw. It can never be too familiar or distant.
Commemoration brings out deep emotions, but it is also a time of reflection. We share in the pain and agony of victims, but also honour them for their fortitude.
None illustrates this better than the story of a woman at an interahamwe roadblock that President Paul Kagame narrated at this year's commemoration in Kigali. Asked to choose her manner of death, she looked at her killers and spat in their face.
That act of defiance is revealing. It shows the contrast between the dignity and moral superiority of a woman facing certain death and the vulgarity and barbarity, and moral void of her killers although they wielded enormous power.
Rwandans also applaud the courage and resilience of survivors, and restate the resolve of a nation to create a future where such barbarity will never happen again.
Guests from around the world usually come to commemorate with us. Some are real friends who come to show their solidarity and moral obligation brings them. Others would not care one way or the other and come because of diplomatic duty. .
This year's remembrance was no different. But it had added significance. The world, as it was in 1994 in Rwanda, was present at Kwibuka 30.
There were friends who stood with Rwanda. President Kagame mentioned them in his speech. Some did it even when it could have hurt them badly. Others stuck to moral principles when all around them no one cared. Even with their hands tied, some individuals tried to help.
Some countries, just out of conflict themselves, gave invaluable assistance. Others used their good offices to enable the peace process.
They all represent the good spirit of humanity and indicate that the world has not all succumbed to indifference and callousness.
Then there were those who turned away, in similar fashion to the UN peacekeepers who could not rescue the president's cousin. They refused, for whatever reason, to recognise the gravity and scale of what was happening in Rwanda in 1994. Among these were the United States government and the United Nations.
The US government could not bring themselves to call the killings genocide. The argument within the State Department at the time, we are told, was that calling it by its proper name had moral and legal implications that would compel the US to act. They chose to shut out those moral voices to avoid action.
They also argued that Rwanda did not represent any significant strategic importance to US interests and so was not worth fighting for. Besides, these were Africans killing their own. Old-fashioned racism may also have played a part.
That position has not changed much. They now say the word genocide but find it difficult to say it was against the Tutsi. Indeed, a statement on X attributed to US Secretary of State Anthony Blinken on the day of commemoration restated this position. It is worth quoting.
He wrote: "The US stands with the people of Rwanda during Kwibuka30 in remembering the victims of genocide. We mourn the many thousands of Tutsis, Hutus, Twas, and others whose lives were lost during 100 days of unspeakable violence."
Notice, it is "unspeakable violence" not genocide. Victims are Tutsi, Hutu and Twa, so it cannot be genocide. It is such a statement of denial that it could easily have been penned by the usual, known genocide deniers.
The US refuses to recognise the creeping genocide in the DRC despite unmistakable signs.
They never mention the thousands of Congolese refugees in Rwanda and other countries. Yet they regularly select some of them for resettlement in the US.
Of course, individuals like former president Bill Clinton who led the US delegation to this year's commemoration have shown some remorse. He has said he regrets his inaction when he was in office. He has probably done much to atone for it. Not many in the US leadership show similar repentance.
The United Nations has been and continues to be guilty of indifference and inaction against genocidaires, and sometimes collusion with them. It continues to ignore warnings of genocide in DRC even from its own officials.
Ms Alice Wairimu Nderutu, the UN's Special Advisor on the Prevention of Genocide no less, has warned of growing hate speech, and acts of genocide in DRC. No one at the UN or among the big powers seems to be listening. Not for the first time, either.
In 1994, they ignored General Romeo Dallaire's warning of impending genocide in Rwanda. His pleas for authority and means to act against the genocidaires were not heeded. The whole world knows what happened. More than one million Tutsi were killed in the space of three months.
Sign up for free AllAfrica Newsletters
Get the latest in African news delivered straight to your inbox
Those who had actively supported the genocidaires also attended. Some, like France, have made steps towards contrition but not complete penance. Even getting to this point has been painfully slow and grudging.
France was the biggest supporter of the genocidal government. When it was defeated, the French shepherded them into Zaire (DRC) and kept them well supplied. It opposed aid to the new government and sought to sabotage it.
Not present but who insist on being noticed were the genocide perpetrators still at large and their apologists, deniers of genocide and conspiracy theorists of every hue. They made their presence known in the media.
The world remains very much the same as it was thirty years on. Only Rwanda seems to have changed and is bashed for it.
It is attacked for its rate of social and economic recovery, something for which in a fair world it should be lauded. It gets the stick for refusing to play victim and become the object of pity. Instead, it insists on being the architect, builder and guarantor of its own future.
Above all, it is whipped for reminding the world, especially the powerful, of their role in the in the genocide and failure to learn any lessons. That, however, will not deter Rwanda from doing what is right for its people and humanity.
